Nicole
Author's posts
Oct 21
Uh, Ugh…Sigh
I know I said that I would finish the Formula of Compassion on Erin today, but I am not sure that I can just yet. For whatever reason, it opened up a lot more emotion and I have had a hard time dealing with it. Ok, I just lied. It’s about letting go. If I …
Oct 20
Overwhelming Emotion
This morning, I thought “I want to write!” But I had to ask myself why. It’s not so much that I have something to say. It’s more that I have to find an outlet for these overwhelming emotions that constantly bombard me. I don’t invite them in. They come uninvited and in large groups. It’s …
Oct 18
Stuff and Things
Yeah, I took a page out of the Walking Dead lore with this title. I guess I must be walking around just like Rick did after Lori died doing stuff and things. You know, nothing of importance or that you can even remember. And the irony is that what I have left of Erin is …
Oct 16
Surrender
I have no post title at writing time today. Not sure why that is so significant to me, but it signals to me that I feel the need to write yet have no direction. I can say that I have come to some stark realizations as of late, and it has left me with a …
Oct 14
The Don’t Cares
Well, I have been busy since Friday and unable to post. I tried yesterday but was kept busy by my aunt who is visiting. I come from a family of talkers, and whether she meant to or not she talked my ear off all day and left me little time to grieve. LOL! I guess …
Oct 10
Sucks
Getting ready to travel to my relatives home for the big game, but I’m a little sad this morning. I was a lot sad last night. I don’t fault Shaun for going to visit friends, so don’t take this that way, but when I am alone at night I seem to fall apart. Around 10pm …
Oct 09
Schisms of Self
I am really not sure how I am feeling today. I feel that I am on the edge of a cliff of emotion, losing my grip and ready to fall right off into an abyss. I am avoiding Erin’s pictures, and all remembrances of her for the most part. I woke during the night longing …
Oct 08
Used To
I planned out today’s title as I was either trying to go to sleep, or at 5:30 this morning as I was trying to go back to sleep. I no longer remember which it was. First, let me bore you with a little grammar… A) Something that happened regularly in the past but no longer …
Oct 06
“Never” Moments
Wow, this guy is good. Kelly Farley, while writing from a father’s perspective for other grieving fathers, is singing the same song that I am. His latest blog entry “Reality Check” discusses moments that he realizes will never happen for him with his own kids. They will never get married, never go to homecoming (Yes, …
Oct 04
“Messed Up Inside”
Last night I read a brilliant post from a grieving father posted on FaceBook called “Messed Up Inside” by Kelly Farley. Please take the time to read the article. It so accurately expressed some of what I was feeling, and how you dread others asking you if you have any children. But mostly, how you …