You know, I just realized something. Well, I have been “uncomfortable” with “polluting” my metaphysical website, which I have had for many years (I know I don’t update it much), with my unending grief. But I had a revelation. The subtitle is The Journey Home. This is part of the journey home, for me. Maybe …
Category: Grieving
Sep 16
Nothing
I have no title today. Usually I write the title first. It just pops into my head and there it is, and then I write and usually it fits somewhat at least. Today there is nothing. I have been saying I feel empty and perhaps this “nothing” in my mind has caught up to the …
Sep 15
Ups N Downs
I must say I have more downs than ups lately. And I have noticed a few things that don’t make me feel much better about anything. First, I have noticed that when I look into Erin’s room, I now Know (big K) that no one lives in there anymore. Even the items on her walls …
Sep 14
Life, the Great Teacher
The past few days have been utterly terrible for me. It is difficult to start a day when you already feel bad. Emotions do affect how your physical body feels. Think about it…when you are upset, you get a sick stomach or a headache or something. In metaphysics they call it the Emotional Body, and …
Sep 13
Meow
I am starting this off with a surprise message I found from Erin yesterday. She had apparently gotten into one of my work binders, written what you see in the picture, and I found it yesterday as I was preparing to go to a business meeting. It made me smile. Then I realized that not …
Sep 12
Will it EVER End?
I had a break down yesterday afternoon. It lasted all evening. I managed to have a good night’s sleep, but I woke up this morning, tired, and immediately felt depressed. I had a lunch appointment with my grief counselor, and the entire drive there I felt exactly like I did two weeks ago on my …
Sep 11
The Cleansing Fire
This morning, so far, I am teetering on the brink of sadness and being OK. I think I am mostly OK. For now. I have just realized that I am being “gutted by fire” at the moment. Erin’s death left me empty enough already, and I had previously described myself as a house that had …
Sep 10
Woe
Funny that I typed “woe” as “wow.” Wow indeed, that I can possibly feel this much agony in a human body without being “physically sick.” I am in some sort of pain today. It built on yesterday I think, and honestly I woke up feeling pretty good compared, but then it just keeps getting worse. …
Sep 10
The Hamster
Or should I say, the Hampster. Erin always called her clothes hamper the hampster. As I was putting my own socks down the chute last night, I had to walk past her room and I thought of that. She had cute, silly nicknames for so many things. We had many funny stories about those to …
Sep 09
It Only Takes a Minute
For the last hour, I have struggled. I started off the day pretty well this time. I only cried for a little bit. Then I fixed me some food, which required me to go into the kitchen. The first thing I saw was the cat sitting on the table. That’s a spot she loves, and …