You would think that I would learn, but in truth I have been so busy running from distraction to distraction that I have bypassed the clearance of a major life lesson over the last several months. But let me start at the beginning. Long ago (well, around 1998) I started down a path of Emotional …
Category: Grieving
Aug 25
Back to Square One
Just when I felt as if I was finding my way, the universe had other plans. Over the course of the last few days I have not only started grieving Erin more so than I had been, but I also feel like once again I am being stripped to the core of my being. That …
Aug 13
Missing Erin
I don’t know if I ever posted this. It was the tile Erin’s classmates did in her memory for their 5th grade legacy project, which I understand was a chandelier. It is Fawn I believe, who is the animal fairy. Erin loved Fawn and animals in general. Many of you remember that tomorrow, August 14 …
May 20
Black Days
Yes, that’s a throwback to the Soundgarden song and how I am feeling. It’s a crappy day when you cry the entire ride to and from the gym, and then some after you get back in the house. Let me share the first bit of the lyrics with you… Whatsoever I’ve feared has come to …
May 12
Blessed
This past year I became a fan of a guy named Matt Kahn. I have enjoyed his YouTube videos and his message, which is so simple it’s ridiculous and you wonder why you didn’t know that already. He is coming out with a new book but has already done videos on the topic, which is …
May 11
The Sad Reality of “Holidays”
I don’t write this just for me, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t on my mind. For most people holidays generally suck to varying degrees. Think about it…I bet almost all of you have at least once realized how little you enjoy the whole thing due to the stress of it. Stress …
May 05
Blah. Blah, and more blah. And some UGH.
May will forever be the worst month. Either a year ago yesterday or today, my brother in law Greg Canter died. It was unexpected, and we didn’t even know about it for almost a week afterward. He died while we were down at Children’s Hospital in Birmingham, and we were still there when Shaun go …
Feb 19
Fighting for My Light
Yes, that’s a play on words. I am truly fighting for my light, which in this case is “life” as it is all that I have left in this “life” so to speak. In that regard, yesterday was a dark day. If I could describe what this level of sadness feels like to you, it …
Feb 10
Be-Reaved
It had not occurred to me that the meaning of bereaved was literally “torn apart.” That is exactly what happens to you during grief of any sort. While I have to admit to myself that losing a child must be the absolute worst, I also know that grief is relative to the situation and the …
Jan 21
The Age of Suffering
I haven’t written in a few days, and this time not because I am busy. I have become extremely depressed again. I have what I assume is PTSD, because I have vivid images and “movies” that play in my mind of Erin laying in the ICU, dying, the short time before she was unconscious, the …