Category: Erin’s Memory

This content is about Erin Canter, my daughter who passed away at 10 years old on 8/14/14.

Aug 14

Not Amused on 8/14/2017

So I posted on my site, but I don’t fully express there because there is always the chance that one of her friends might be reading it. I do not want a child to have to be exposed to the immense feelings of grief and well, negativity that it brings. At home, we can’t …

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Aug 05

Musings for 8/5/2017

I realized that I in fact did not finish my lament two days ago. I meant to write yesterday but got distracted when the cable/internet went out for FIFTEEN HOURS just around 3:30 pm yesterday. We knew how long it was out because Shaun couldn’t sleep and was up when it came back on. I …

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Aug 03

Musings for 8/3/2017

Despite my best efforts, this month is taking a toll on me. I am very tired, achy, and right now have a smashing case of brain fog. It’s true that ignoring something doesn’t make it go away or better, but sometimes you just have to not consciously think about things. I literally think of Erin …

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Aug 13

Missing Erin

I don’t know if I ever posted this. It was the tile Erin’s classmates did in her memory for their 5th grade legacy project, which I understand was a chandelier. It is Fawn I believe, who is the animal fairy. Erin loved Fawn and animals in general. Many of you remember that tomorrow, August 14 …

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May 20

Black Days

Yes, that’s a throwback to the Soundgarden song and how I am feeling. It’s a crappy day when you cry the entire ride to and from the gym, and then some after you get back in the house. Let me share the first bit of the lyrics with you… Whatsoever I’ve feared has come to …

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Feb 10


It had not occurred to me that the meaning of bereaved was literally “torn apart.” That is exactly what happens to you during grief of any sort. While I have to admit to myself that losing a child must be the absolute worst, I also know that grief is relative to the situation and the …

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Jan 15

Hard Days Night

I wanted to post yesterday but I have been extremely busy. I started coming back into “the office” to assist with a contract transition and close out, and will be here for awhile most every day. It has been a nice distraction because “work me” smiles and chats and tries to uplift my staff. It’s …

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Dec 11

Happy Birthday Erin, We Miss You

Today, unfortunately, is all about it being Erin’s 11th birthday and her not being here with us to celebrate it. Sad doesn’t begin to describe it, but sometime during the night I became somewhat numb. Maybe it was the fatigue. I felt like I was up all night. I don’t know if I posted it, …

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Oct 18

Stuff and Things

Yeah, I took a page out of the Walking Dead lore with this title. I guess I must be walking around just like Rick did after Lori died doing stuff and things. You know, nothing of importance or that you can even remember. And the irony is that what I have left of Erin is …

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Oct 09

Schisms of Self

I am really not sure how I am feeling today. I feel that I am on the edge of a cliff of emotion, losing my grip and ready to fall right off into an abyss. I am avoiding Erin’s pictures, and all remembrances of her for the most part. I woke during the night longing …

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