A Look In The Mirror – Being Hacked
Filed under: 2013 Chronicles, Ascension, Blog, Emotional Clearing
Twice in the last few months my other site, 2013 Chronicles, has had it’s code hacked. This site was a collaboration with two other spiritual warriors initially, but one of them has dropped out of the game and taken the blue pill. While I would not choose the path that the Third Lady has taken, I am grateful for the interactions that have led me to this realization and the experiences that I have learned from. I wish her the best, and I see now that the hacks are a direct reflection on a need to change the energy.
Recently I wrote an article titled Keep your energy off of mine! This was very timely due to what was going on that day, but now I see it was part of an even bigger message. We talk about separating the wheat from the chaff. Trying to maintain two non-resonant frequencies made me vulnerable, broke down the defenses, made the energy field weak.
We can’t bring lower frequencies with us when we raise our own, no more than we can run a marathon without being in shape. It just doesn’t work out. You can give it your best try, but I bet you will experience misery and all sorts of chaos.
Well that’s it – it’s time to update. Update much, the website, the template perhaps, the intent. Update and replace things in my home. Even my 3D job is undergoing major changes. It seems relevant and timely now that I can see more clearly.
So hear this hackers! I have re-modulated the frequency of the shields. Unless you are the Borg, you will have a hard time adapting.
Anna
I AM – The State of Being
Have you ever noticed that some people wear their identities like layers of clothes? They identify themselves as wives, mothers, husbands, fathers, Catholics, alcoholics, Christians, and a myriad of other labels? They are very invested in these labels. If you try to make them anything other than what they believe they are, they may become angry as they try to convince you. If you find a chink in the armor and cause them to question themselves, they may become depressed, despondent, or even mentally unstable. They have identified with something that is outside of themselves just as they would the clothes they are wearing. They are no longer “the girl.” They are “the girl in the red shirt.”
In contrast to the very “Western” ideas that I expressed above, many Eastern philosophies work towards a state of liberation and transcendence, which is defined as a subjective experience of release from a prior state of bondage. Additionally, Wikipedia defines nirvana as “that which ends the identity of the mind (citta) with empirical phenomena.” It’s not hard to see where this is going. In fact, I have had many dreams where something I was wearing (clothes) bound me tightly, and I’ve had to cut it off to break free. Sometimes it is clothing covering the upper chakras, sometimes the lower ones. The symbolism is very clear.
I have heard talk of the “I AM” for most of my life. I was raised in a Church of Christ household until the age of 7, and there was an old song in church where the chorus ended in the verse “The Great I AM.” I had no idea what it meant, and I bet the other folks singing it with me didn’t know either. Many new age writers and gurus talk about this concept as well. With so many of them wearing the descriptions of what they ARE, I suspect they don’t know either. Or maybe, they know but haven’t achieved it as of yet.
The latter is where “I am” now. I have achieved an understanding of what the I AM concept is. I may never achieve it while in this particular body. Yet I strive to shrug off those chains of bondage that people try to classify me by, and that my own EGO still tries to paint me as. I have found that I have taken off many layers of clothing, so much that I can’t really tell you what “I am.” But I can tell you what I am not with certainty. Perhaps that is the best most of us Earth-bound folks can do for now!
As you work towards a state of being, your EGO will rally against you. Mine still does. It seeks to achieve the “glory” of what I once was, and what I thought I would grow to be. But glory is the domain of the EGO only, and it has no place in a state of simply being, the state of I AM. The labels that I used to wear so proudly have no place there either. I have found that even being publicly congratulated (such as at work) makes me very uncomfortable. I am just being the person that I am – why the need to recognize me? The point is, thanks is always appreciated, but the EGO is the only entity that requires and craves it. The EGO is the one who clings to these labels, these clothes, this baggage that we carry. The EGO perpetuates the chains that bind us. But we are NOT the EGO! And we can overcome it.
If you feel the heavy burden of the labels you carry and identify with, and you want to begin the process of removing those labels, start small. Do it a little at a time. If you are very invested in your labels, you may need to seek counseling or practice emotional clearing, stress release through meditation, etc. You will likely feel vulnerable, feel naked, and you may become disillusioned. It is natural. If you can work through this, you will feel lighter and more confident. It’s not an easy path to take, but the closer you can get to the state of being that is simply “I AM,” the more balanced and joyful you will become. I say that from experience, and it feels very good. Am I finished? Not by a long shot, but I’ve come further than I ever thought I could go in this lifetime. I am confident that you can do it too.
Anna
Changing the Energy: Be the Catalyst
Catalyst: an agent that provokes or speeds significant change or action
There is so much change going on right now. DNA is changing, attitudes are changing, the world is changing on both the macro and the micro level. I receive emails frequently that ask for my help in this or that area. Most of the time, people say something like “I think I have this or that, tell me what to do to get rid of it.” Usually I spend a fair amount of time just answering the initial email, and providing directions, which is fine except that they don’t want to DO anything. They want a quick fix and don’t realize that they need to put some effort into their own physical and emotional health. To progress, you have to take action.
Over this last week specifically I have read much and more about DNA changes, changes in the sun (i.e., solar flares, CMEs, protons streaming towards Earth), ascension symptoms, and the changes that are going on in our bodies and around the world. I have also read blogs, forums, and news articles where people bitch and moan about what someone else did or did not do, while they sit on their arse and complain about how it is not benefiting them. Hey, I’m not perfect either. Just today I threw responsibility out the window and ate Publix chicken wings for lunch with a Coke. I had a headache, and I used the Coke for medicinal purposes. And those A-holes over at Coca-Cola corporation should make healthier drinks if they want me to be healthier. See how I just justified my own poor decision and lack of action in making myself a healthy lunch? Well, that’s just a handy example, but if I’m sitting here waiting for Publix to sell healthier fried wings and Coke to be good for me, I will not progress in the physical health arena. I have to take action by making better choices. After all, it is all a choice – MY choice – even if I don’t like the choices available to me.
Already today I’ve told this old adage to someone, so now I’ll tell it to you. I think it says it all, and is very apt even though I am not religious. It goes like this:
It rained for days and days and there was a terrific flood. The water rose so high that one man was forced to climb on top of his roof and sat in the rain. As the waters came up higher a man in a rowboat came up to the house and told him to get in. “No thank you, the Lord will save me!” he said, and the man in the rowboat rowed away.
The waters rose to the edge of the roof and still the man sat on the roof until another rowboat came by and another man told him to get in. “No thank you, the Lord will save me!” he said again, and the man rowed away.
The waters covered the house and the man was forced to sit on his chimney as the rain poured down and a helicopter came by and another man urged him to get in or he’ll drown. “No thank you,” the man said again, “The Lord will save me!”
After much begging and pleading the man in the helicopter gave up and flew away. The waters rose above the chimney and the man drowned and went to heaven where he met God.
“Lord, I don’t understand,” he told Him, frustrated, “The waters rose higher and higher and I waited hours for you to save me but you didn’t! Why?”
The Lord just shook his head and said, “What are you talking about? I sent two boats and a helicopter?!”
Right now our universe, source, creator (call it what you will) is sending us the ingredients for change. Big change. Solar flares are bringing DNA and consciousness changing protons and electrons to our planet. They are bathing us in the UV light that we need to change our cellular structure. David Wilcock’s book The Source Field Investigations suggests that the solar energy may even change the nature of time itself. That’s huge! Revolution is everywhere. We are on the brink of war. Extremists are running our country and our media. Do you ever see a middle of the road, balanced viewpoint? Basically the whole thing is going to shit on the one hand, while wonderful things are happening in the background. Those of us who are “awake” can see this, feel it, and yet there are still many of us who are on the fence doing absolutely nothing but continuing to serve ourselves.
While I was certainly schooled in the “everything happens as it should” field of thought, and I agree, I also recognize that we are in the 3rd dimension of time/space that is physical. This means that for a reaction to take place, we need an action. Geddy Lee of Rush sang “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” This is directly applicable to actions as well. By not acting, you have still acted. Well what are you waiting for? Until you play your role, you will not have fulfilled your destiny. I say be a catalyst. Jump into the mixing bowl and make the recipe what you want to make it. You may be THE catalyst for all that we know, the big one that sparks the ascension of the new earth. Stand up for integrity, ethics, right action, truth, balance, and compassion. Stand up for the way of the light, of service to others, and make a difference by taking responsibility and being accountable. You don’t have to be out demonstrating or “occupying” if that’s not your path. Just by making changes to yourself, it ripples out into the universe. Just by smiling, laughing, feeding someone who is hungry…you get the point.
Sounds like a tall order to fill? Start small, and work on it each day. When you see you have failed in an area, that’s great. You’ve seen it. Now get back on your feet and remember where to focus your efforts next time. If you have wronged someone and created karma between you, make amends and move forward with your head held high. Use the opportunities given to you when they arrive. Don’t just sit there waiting to be saved. You are the wildcard, the catalyst, the dreamer who makes a difference. We all are.
Connecting to the Cosmic Energy
In each stage of my development, I encounter something new that I never thought I would be doing. This time it is simple meditation. I never had a use for it, and quite frankly, couldn’t stand sitting still!
I also didn’t know how, specifically, to meditate. I’m a visual learner, and while I can follow directions, the slightest nuance in a thought can leave me wondering if I got the exact meaning. So instead of being productive, I spend my time judging my performance as an automatic fail. Where I learned this bad habit is irrelevant, just that I struggle with it daily.
Back to my most recent epiphanies…a friend sent me a series of Deepak Chopra YouTube links. I have never been a fan. To be honest, it turns me off that he was on Oprah because she is so commercialized, so I am not at all familiar with his work. I have to tell you, though, that his work was impressive, and the sound of his voice very soothing. So I watched them all, and found Learning How to Meditate. It was phenomenal.
My first thought was how well put together it was. If you are a visual learner, the CGI was perfectly orchestrated to show me how this works, what to do, etc. And it was extremely informative verbally. I was interested enough to try it.
The premise is to bring cosmic energy, which powers your body indefinitely, down into your corporeal form and promote healing and balance physically, emotionally, and mentally. While pranic breathing is also very good for you, during the meditation you only focus on your breathing in order to clear your mind. It is not a mindful process of breaths, rather just being the observer.
The process was really interesting to me. I’ve done this now about 5 times, and each time I find myself in a panic about getting breath. I am not preventing myself from breathing, yet I’m afraid I will not get enough. Obviously a psychological hangup. Also, the random thoughts in my mind also put me off balance. Can you believe that the first time, when I quieted my mind, the Disney song Hakuna Matata popped in? It was with me all darn day after that. And yeah, I saw the irony. It means no worries, for the rest of your days. My guides have a great sense of humor.
Thankfully I did link up with the cosmic energy. There was no mistaking it when it hit me in the 3rd eye. And I was absolutely energized, which was wonderful. Logistically speaking, I haven’t done “as well” each day after this but they have been productive. Chopra recommended 30 minutes, but I have been doing 20 minutes and it’s going fine. That is what my guides have recommended. You should ask yours if you plan to begin.
Next I am supposed to get my butt in gear to do pranic breathing. I have too much water which makes me fatigued, and I need air. I’ll write about that experience when I get around to making it happen.
Anna
Peeling the Onion
Another thing Kem wants me to write about is peeling the old onion – better known as emotional clearing. The onion, of course, is a metaphor because there are many layers. So many that you will be surprised one day as you think “Oh, I thought I cleared that one?”
Again, a forum post brought this one up. And we send a big thank you to the person who posted – this is one of the reasons that we ask people to post about themselves. Not only can you seek guidance, but it actually helps to bring things to light for others. It is always a valuable exchange.
Using the Keys of Compassion as an example, you don’t just “clear an issue.” You may clear a big chunk of an issue, but until you actually hit the “root layer” of an issue, you aren’t finished with it. One of the first issues that I began with so many years ago when I bought my copy of the Keys, was childhood angst over my relationship with my mother. There are a lot of facets to this one and a lot of layers. Due to other interrelated relationships, there were multiple triggers. The first go around, I removed a great burden! And yes, I thought, “Whew, I am glad I am done with that one!”
But alas, sometime soon afterward I found that the bad feelings were triggered again. I was confused and sought guidance. And I understood from a mental perspective. But I admit it was hard to understand just why, after the intensely hard and painful work I had done, why isn’t this one finished?
It has been many years since I have actually ran someone through the Formula of Compassion. After awhile, you sort of just do it internally and automatically in nearly an instant. And my triggers on this particular relationship have lessened due to continued work. But guess what? They are still there! I am at a new stage where I actually am feeling those old feelings quite deeply again. This time, I am a lot more detached and my ego shards are nearly gone, so I feel much differently. And guys, this is the key…I could not have allowed myself to feel this deeply again UNTIL I hit this stage of the game. I am stable. I am detached. And I am able to feel the feelings, but look upon them much, much differently.
The point is you will peel the layers only as quickly as you are willing, and only as quickly as you are able. I dove head first into emotional clearing, but some of the layers I just wasn’t able to access until much later due to what I mentioned above. I believe that a healthy state can be achieved by both clearing your issues YOURSELF, and by the tweaks and alchemy that you are all working with on this “program.” It takes a holistic approach to both get rid of the gunk and change your patterns. Sorry, but the hard work is necessary and you can’t move ahead carrying all of that baggage! Your light body just isn’t dense enough to hold it.
Hopefully this helps!
Anna
Putting Yourself Out There
I moderate a few boards here and there, and one lady’s recent post mentioned that she doesn’t post much due to “the way she is responded to.” Kem wanted me to write an article on this, because it is a fatal error.
Just this morning I was listening to an old 80′s song called “Love My Way” by the Psychadelic Furs. I love that song, always have. But today, the last verse of the song struck me and I paid attention. Didn’t know why at the time though! The verse says “You can never win or lose, if you don’t run the race.” I mulled it over, actually getting stuck on the 3d meaning of “win or lose.” Then I realized there was a deeper meaning I didn’t get and I let it go.
Now I see – by not posting, participating, doing – you are not running the race. It’s a safe way to be no doubt, because if you don’t get out there you cannot fail, you cannot fail publicly either. But you can’t grow, you can’t run the race, and you sure as hell can’t finish the race.
For those of you who are also hung up on word definitions and subtleties, it’s a metaphor. If it makes you feel better to substitute something better for “win, lose, and race” go for it. Just ensure you get the concept.
This must be a hot topic lately, because another lady on the same board also mentioned her way of controlling things is to keep it inside and not discuss with others. See where we’re going with this one?
Whatever the trigger, this goes directly back to EGO. Some teachings speak of the inner child, but I tend to think that this is more of an ego response than inner child. Yes, the inner child can cease to become fun and become fearful, but it’s integrated into us. The EGO, on the other hand, is not. It’s external merkaba programming that is not natural. It can be a defense but in more ways it hurts than helps. It can be removed, shattered, eradicated. Guess what? When you mess with it, it hurts you!! Shame, guilt, anger, embarrassment – all of those negative emotions come up. It tells you you were bad to put yourself out there, and if necessary it tells you what a piece of shit someone else is and incites anger, hate, distrust, etc. The EGO is there to prevent growth and keep the status quo, which is your programming. More specifically, it’s your slave population programming. It’s even part of the elitist programming – they have masters too!
I personally have had to face many ugly things about myself. They were all true. I am not proud of them, but I accept them as they are now and I also accept that for some of them, I am still paying a karmic price. It’s mine to pay, so I’m ok with it. At the time they were brought to my attention, it wasn’t so nice. Back in the “old days” when I was an active member of the old Nibiruan Council forums, where the main purpose was emotional clearing, it got pretty ugly out there. It wasn’t for the faint of heart. I stuck with it and I grew tremendously.
I’m also not talking about general disrespect such as anything racial, calling someone a “bitch” or anything else, but true criticism that doesn’t involve appearance or something equally irrelevant to the topic. Yes, it may have a tone of irritation in it because we are beings of emotion! All of us! Does the emotion make it any less true? No, it doesn’t. But if something does get rather heated, both parties may need a short break to get their heads on straight.
I work with people every day in my job, and I directly supervise currently about 37 people. All of them are 3D “normal people” who have egos and idiosyncrasies. I mention this because I get to put my skills to the test on a daily basis with 37+ different personalities. Each of them needs a different response, and even the same person needs a different response type over multiple events. Basic emotional clearing tells you this, because when everything is fuzzy bunnies, people do not change what they are doing. Some do not change until things get very ugly and uncomfortable. That seems to be a pattern of human nature, perhaps even a universal pattern.
So folks, if you do not put yourself out there to “win or lose” you will not do either. A safe choice, but then let me ask why are you on this path? Have you given up? Or do you simply wish to be blissfully ignorant and 3D “happy?” Put things into perspective and then accept what comes. But do try your best – whatever it is that you may do.
Anna & KEM
Complete Integrity
Complete Integrity
December 8, 2003
It seems that in the past year that the concept of integrity has come up quite a bit for me. This has been mostly in relation to people that I have met via the Nibiruan Council Forums (NC Forums) and discussions that took place there. These discussions have often been heated debates over when or whether a person is in their integrity and they have never been resolved for me in any concrete way until recently.
In the beginning, I really had no idea that there could be so many different views about something that seemed as cut and dry as integrity! And I agonized over what I perceived as level-headed people dodging responsibility by skewing their definition of integrity. It was as if their Inner Children (ICs) were deliberately trying to make screwing over others OK as long as they were satisfied!
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when someone who I considered a close friend was, in my opinion, very much out of her integrity with a group of fellow Lightworkers. I’ll call her Weave*, and her actions affected me personally (even though I didn’t participate in the events) because they involved breaking agreements and a breach of trust. Basically, I was shocked and hurt by Weave’ actions, and my trust in her as a friend was blown to bits. The ensuing debate over her integrity or lack of it on the NC Forums also affected me because it simply did not make sense to me at all. You see, integrity is one of the longer, harder lessons that I’ve been working on with my own Self and Inner Child. I knew that this whole scenario was a reflection for me in some way, but at that point I didn’t know why or what it was exactly.
Like I said – obviously there was something left for me to learn about integrity, and after the initial shock of pain I was driven to figure it out. It took me some time, but I finally got over my emotional attachment to the technical (intellectual) definition of integrity and began to entertain questions about whether or not the definition was in fact complete and correct. After all, didn’t these people on the Forums (including Weave) make some good arguments? Weren’t their arguments heartfelt? The answer to both questions was yes, but none of the technical (intellectual) nor emotional (heartfelt) definitions that I came across covered all of the bases. Something about them was not complete.
What was missing here? Well, to be sure, I had to take the intellectual definitions that were swarming around me and check them against the emotions to see what felt right and what didn’t – and vice versa. It was basically finding a balanced approach to the problem. And isn’t it a balance of intellect and emotion that we strive to achieve to be multidimensional? Of course it is! And what follows is what I came up with.
What is Integrity?
There are many reasons why the definition of anything can vary widely from one person to another. It is my experience that it depends on where the person is both emotionally and intellectually because this drives our behavior. So if I am mostly intellectual and I feel very little, I’ll reject any emotional points of view. Likewise, if I am mostly emotional and feel very strongly, I may often reject logic and reason. Either way, I’m out of balance, and this spells trouble where integrity is concerned. The real kick in the arse is that nine times out of ten I won’t even realize it when I’m acting from either polarity and/or out of integrity!
So, there’s got to be a way to check myself in a situation and make sure that I’m acting from integrity. But to do this I have to know just what the heck the definition of integrity is. After doing some research and soul searching, I believe that the following definition encompasses the spirit of integrity.
Integrity is the state or quality of being entire or complete; wholeness; entireness; moral soundness; honesty.
Not only is this a complete definition that encompass the spirit of integrity, but at first glance, all of its components seem to work interchangeably (except perhaps moral soundness). In other words it includes all of the different ways that you can say this and mean the same thing, so if you and I prefer different words we’re still on the same page. As for moral soundness, it can vary from person to person. But for our intents and purposes here, we’ll define moral soundness as the desire to do unto others as we would have done to us in respect to being in integrity – the desire to be whole, complete, entire, and honest.
Complete Integrity
Until this point I had been mulling over the concept of Complete Integrity, but now I knew exactly what I was talking about. Complete Integrity consists of two things:
- Being in integrity with Others
- Being in integrity with Self (Involves the Inner Child)
Although they have much in common, integrity with Others and with the Self is not interchangeable. And in addition, you must approach both from a balance of emotion and intellect. More importantly, both are of equal importance!
Integrity with Others
And, as I mentioned, there was much debate in the NC Forums about Weave and her integrity. Many defended Weave and said that she had honored her Inner Child’s feelings and acted accordingly, and that because of this she was in fact in her integrity. But what about the agreements she had made with the other Lightworkers she was working with? Isn’t breaking agreements a complete disregard of integrity in itself?
My logical mind wanted to think that she did do the “right” thing by honoring her Inner Child, but I just couldn’t get there. The others did have a point though – if she was doing what she needed to do for her Inner Child, wasn’t that what she was supposed to be doing? The answer is yes, but there’s more to integrity than pleasing your Inner Child. The point is that integrity is a complete package – you can’t just do the “right thing” for yourself and disregard others whose needs you have already agreed to meet.
Weave’s integrity appeared to be one-sided and perhaps even conditional, as did the definitions of those I disagreed with on the NC Forums. I even asked her once “How am I supposed to have a relationship with you now?” As I said, I could not trust her to do the things she said she would do. On top of this, I began to question the integrity of all of the relationships that I had, including those on the NC Forums who I had been discussing integrity with. Could theybe trusted? Or did we really see eye to eye but were focusing on different words?
Integrity with Self
As I said, there is another dimension to integrity that we need to discuss and it has to do with the Self. To put it into a nutshell, the Self is the part of us that mediates between the Soul and Inner Child. The Self takes input from both and then makes a decision on how to act. The Self is in charge of our actions and decisions while incarnated her on Earth.
Now, by definition Complete Integrity assumes that we are balanced and free from fear. This means that when it comes to both our logical mind (intellect) and emotions that we are in a place of balance where our Soul is able to take the lead and we are standing in our truth. Sounds like things would be simple huh? The Self would just make decisions based on a set of criteria for integrity and guidance from the Soul, and we’d be on our way. Well, throw the Inner Child into the mix and you’ve got a whole new ballgame!
The Inner Child, though, is the part of us that feels fear and isn’t always ready or able to let the Soul’s guidance come through the Self. Fear, in all of its forms, is the biggest, ugliest reason that we are ever out of integrity in the first place. It’s the number one pitfall, just ahead of not being able to feel (emotion) and it’s the reason why we can’t (or won’t let ourselves) feel emotion.
So, all of the fears that the Self feels are really the fears of the Inner Child. The Inner Child remembers everything that you have experienced in this life and in others. He or she remembers the “good” things and “bad” things, but what the Inner Child remembers the most are the bad things because of the pain that you felt regarding those bad things. Even though the Inner Child’s real job is to keep you from feeling physical pain, emotional pain hurts too and the Inner Child just can’t help not wanting you to feel that too. Because of this, the Inner Child is motivated to go to great lengths to keep you from experiencing any sort of pain. This is even true when the path they take is clearly irrational and illogical, meaning you will feel pain anyway. Normally the Inner Child will put pain off for as long as possible, even if it is inevitable, because they remember how badly it hurts.
The interesting thing here is the stunts that the Inner Child will pull in order to fool us into the path they want us to take. Mine is an expert at manipulation and yours is too – that’s their nature after eons of experience and why the Inner Child is so important to the integrity of Self. My Inner Child will use both emotion and intellect to fool me into thinking I am in integrity if she is afraid of taking the course I intend to take. If the Inner Child is using intellect, I may recognize it as a rationalization of events and such in order to avoid taking responsibility for something. If she is using emotion, I may recognize it as an intense feeling that comes over me, persuading me to take another course (usually fear of something). Sometimes I don’t recognize the manipulation at all until after the fact. But if I know that the Inner Child is capable of pulling the wool over my eyes, then I can at least take steps to check for this too.
Criteria for Complete Integrity
As I have said, while integrity with Others and with Self aren’t the same thing, they do have basically the same set of criteria. I’ve put them into the form of some questions that I ask myself when I need to do an integrity check.
- Am I being honest, whole, and complete with my feelings?
- Am I being honest, whole, and complete with my information? In other words, am I withholding information or lying in any way?
- Am I being current with my feelings and the expression of those feelings? If I have changed my mind about something, have I communicated this to the other person?
- Do I have all of the facts?
- Am I making assumptions?
- Am I clearly stating my needs to the others involved?
- If I have been out of integrity, am I “coming clean” and being current with the others involved at this time?
- Have I kept my agreement(s) with the others involved?
- What am I missing? Am I open to considering that I may be out of integrity if the other person thinks that I am, even if I do not think so?
This is your basic set of criteria to consider; however, it’s a good idea to also use the set of questions below to double-check things with your Inner Child.
- If this is a situation that I have planned, i.e., I know I am taking a particular course of action, have I talked it over with my Inner Child? Did we talk about His or Her fears regarding this? If so, did we formulate agreements and a plan of action that makes Him or Her feel safe?
- Regardless of the answer to #1, am I feeling any fear related to this situation? Do I need to check in with my Inner Child to talk things over before I proceed?
- What other feelings do I have that are related to my inability or refusal to keep agreements that I have already made? How about agreements I am being asked to make?
- If I have not yet made an agreement with another, but am being asked to make one, do I want to make this agreement? Am I willing to make this agreement? Can I do so and still honor my agreements with my Inner Child and Soul?
- Am I, in any way, lying to myself about this situation?
This may seem like a lot to consider, but in time it will become second nature. In fact, I find myself asking these questions in an almost unconscious manner in almost every interaction that I have with another person.
It has been several months since these events happened, but this life-changing lesson is still with me each and every day. And I am truly eternally grateful to Weave for being my impetus to really “get” integrity. This was one of those golden lessons for me and I know her Soul loves me very much to play this most painful role here in 3D. I couldn’t have done it without her. I just can’t emphasize enough that this was my biggest catalyst for changing undesirable things about me regarding integrity and for introspection on almost every level of Self. Contemplating integrity can do this for a person because it makes you question every aspect of your life and those involved in it.
One last thought: If you find that you have not been in Complete Integrity, you can still remedy the situation. Do it as soon as possible after you figure out that you’re out of integrity. You may find out that you made an agreement that you couldn’t keep, or you may find out that you intended to keep it but just can’t do so right now. You may have been in integrity to start with and had a lapse, but even if you weren’t you can still come up smelling like roses if you’re able to find your way back and make amends. Speaking from experience, losing trust in a person is a terrible thing. But when someone can be honest and communicate with me, it always helps repair the situation and restores my respect in them.
Namaste!
Annaielle
Additional Reading
Navigating the Steps of Emotional Clearing by Nicole
What Does It Mean to Be Radically Honest?
What Does It Mean To Be Radically Honest?
February 24, 2006
It’s transformation time again. I used to call them “lessons.” You know – those really big energetic cleansings you go through and you’re never the same afterward? Well, lessons is still a true enough description, but the word transformation really hits the nail on the head because in truth I have reinvented myself so much in these last 7 years that I realized I don’t even know myself anymore.
This hit me recently when during a discussion with my husband Shaun I realized just how much of me I had glossed over in my relationship with him. My excuse was always “He doesn’t have a point of context for this so he won’t understand.” Or maybe it was a fear issue – “This will cause an argument so I’ll avoid it.” On the surface I knew I was living a double-life so to speak, but I consciously did not know just how much of a double-life until he brought it to my attention.
According to Shaun I’d been living a lie and I guess I had been. Can you imagine how devastating to him that is must have been realizing how much you don’t know about your mate because she was not sharing it with you? Deliberate or not, you can bet this put a damper on any intimacy he felt towards me, as well as trust. It was a horrible shock to me as well. How could this have happened to someone (me) who places such a value on integrity and truth?!? The answer is contained in many reasons, too many to mention so that I don’t get sidetracked with this article. The bare honest truth is that I had not only glossed over the true me with Shaun, I’d glossed over it with my Self too. Looking back, I have experienced so much in such a short amount of time that I just didn’t stop to think about it or communicate it. The real travesty towards my Self though is that I wasn’t BEing me, walking my talk. Not fully anyway. It was time to come clean, and thus came my newest transformation into a person who strives to be radically honest1.
What is Radical Honesty?
But what is radical honesty? If you’ve read my articles before then you know I like to compare a Webster’s definition with a “heart” definition. So in the spirit of that, Webster’s says:
radical: marked by a considerable departure from the usual or traditional :EXTREME
honesty: adherence to the facts : SINCERITY
And actually, this is darn close to what my heart tells me is needed within myself. I must move to a level of honesty – adherence to the facts with sincerity – that is a considerable departure from the usual or traditional. This means not only the usual or traditional as in regards to societal custom, but within my Self as well. And, of course, this ties in with my ongoing quest forcomplete integrity, because I cannot be in complete integrity unless I am also consciously and radically honest. This is an intertwined process, and so far isn’t not as easy as it sounds.
A New Beginning…Again!
I began my latest transformation quest by coming clean with Shaun about everything that I could. I put aside fears that I was regurgitating 5+ years of stuff on to him that he had no point of reference for and just blurted out all that I could think of (See? The fears still emerge!). I came clean about who I am, truly, my likes, dislikes, etc. One of the hardest things to open up about was my feelings, preferences, etc. regarding sex. I’ve been guarding some of those “secrets” since I was a teenager! Some of them I had changed my views on since our relationship began but was afraid to open up the subject. It was hard for him to understand why I’d have kept my feelings a secret from him for 10 years if we were supposed to be life partners, but believe me when I say that old habits die hard. Very hard! This may have been the toughest area for me to open up about due to ingrained belief systems (false truths) regarding sex and women. It sure was a burden lifted in the end though!
At this point I could feel a change inside of me. I was making changes outwardly too. And I felt good about it – all of it – and I thought I was on my way. But as all transformations go, you may do the bulk of it on the front-end, but the back-end can drag on for a long time.
Do You Really Have to Be Radically Honest All the Time?
What I’m finding out is that radical honesty takes time to be comfortable with. If you can transform all at once, more power to you! But most of us have to ease into it. You have to be willing to bare your soul to whomever you are interacting with and take the consequences (if there are any). You have to be willing to be honest with your Self too, and that can be very hard to do even if it sounds easy. My first, and biggest lesson in radical honesty came with my beloved Shaun. To me, any lesson that I clear with Shaun is Hard with a capital H. But Shaun is safe for me, and I’m not afraid to battle it out with him to find my way. Other people and situations I don’t feel so safe with. So guess what my current “class” is? It’s called “Being Your Self and Proud of It at Work.”
Just yesterday a former co-worker who is now one of my employees happened to catch me while I was updating SFDL, a sister website that I host from BlueStarHome.net. I belly ached to him about a menu I was editing before I realized it and he said “Oh, what’s the website address?” When he asked that I was horrified! I stumbled over my words as I told him that I wasn’t prepared to give that out or my own website because then everyone would think I was really out there and weird…or something like that! I stumbled so badly I don’t even really remember what I said, but I was also fully conscious that he could Google me at any time and find out.
My next reaction was to just try and forget about it. That worked for about an hour. Then I got this horrible feeling in my gut because I knew what I was doing – trying to get myself out of an uncomfortable situation because I was ashamed of my website (to this particular group) and didn’t want my image tarnished. What would they say? What would they think? It would spread like wildfire among my employees!
And then I thought of My Name Is Earl. You know, that new comedy where Jason Lee plays Earl, a guy who stumbled upon the concept of Karma and decided to right all of his past wrongs? One of his favorite things to say is that Karma is going to get him if he doesn’t do the right thing. Well, I could feel Karma gaining on my back end and I knew I had to give him the link whether he wanted it or not. I had to face my fears and walk my talk. Regardless of the consequences, whatever they may be.
So to answer the question, do you have to be radically honest all of the time? Yes, but that doesn’t mean that you have to go blurting out your personal business, become obnoxious, or cease to be discrete. I could have just told my employee that I don’t give that out and been done with it. This would have been a true statement without me skewing my intentions with excuses about the reasons. It’s my dysfunctional intentions that mattered, and I was trying to hide from him and in doing so I had to hide from myself.
How Do I Get Started?
Take the next thing that comes to your conscious mind and be honest about it! Whew, that’s scary isn’t it! My advice is to start a bit slower by identifying one issue that you know you have been out of integrity with and trying it out. There will likely be a lot of fear involved and you have to be willing to be vulnerable and work through the fear in order to be honest. Let’s walk through my issue with Shaun as an example.
- During a discussion with Shaun I became conscious of things that I had been hiding from Shaun for several years. As I had completed inner transformations I had not shared the “new me’s” for fear that he would not like me.
- After I became conscious of this, I shared these things about myself.
- We proceeded to work through the issues, including my lack of integrity.
It’s important to note that Shaun wasn’t exactly happy about all of this. In his view it was a breach of trust, and rightfully so. My coming clean didn’t just wipe away any responsibility I had in the issue, but it did open the door for healing and honesty. I continued over the next several days to come clean as things came to my conscious mind. I continue to do so today. Once, out of fear, I caught myself telling a “white lie,” but I got caught and had to come clean even then! But coming clean was much better than the nasty old monster I had created within myself that was keeping these secrets. I found out that most of my fear was unfounded and that my lack of integrity was a far greater issue than anything else. And after seeing the damage that my monster did to our relationship and to my Self, I’ve decided that I would rather face the fear of being radically honest than go the other road since I know now where it leads.
As you go forward remember that as you clear layer upon layer of your emotional issues, you will notice differences inside. The goal is to be able to navigate these layers of Self while being radically honest with yourself and with others, i.e., having the inner match the outer. We are all beautiful and shining beings. Let your Self shine for all the world to see – especially for YOU to see!
Namaste!
Annaielle
1 – The term Radical Honesty was given to me at the perfect time by a close friend. My friend says that this is a term Neale Donald Walsch uses in his Conversations With God series. You can find more information at http://www.cwg.org.
Additional Reading
Navigating the Steps of Emotional Clearing by Nicole
Complete Integrity by Nicole
The Balancing Act
The Balancing Act
by Ed Schelling
If you would take two negative ends or positive ends of a magnet what happens? They repel each other right? You would bring them close and you could feel this cool bubble that is repelling each other and feels like its just sitting there hovering. Now what happens when these ends are not perfectly in that that grove or bubble? If you are close enough the opposite ends slip, then flip and they finally stick together, becoming magnetized to each other. When they are farther a part there is no repelling going on because there is not enough of an opposite force or action to garner any effect. So basically you are in like a resting or null zone and nothing happens.
What if I were to share with you that this is also how one can look at their life in terms of polarity and it applies the same way. Now one can live in either extreme if they so choose, that is their choice, but if one wants to become balanced and literally have the best of both worlds, or not so best, then one must come to the middle.
You can apply this to almost anything in your life in a micro level or to your whole life on the macro level. The difficult part is for one to find the place where they are hovering between both polarities in their life in that “bubble” or balance. But keep in mind one needs to have both polarities present, if not then one would just get polarized and that’s when the proverbial magnet would flip and come together when one side or both side of the magnets get too much out of alignment and not in that “zone” that I have spoken of. This zone is the place of balance. The place of where the two polarities meet and
repels each other. Which create this bubble or state of balance when you apply the force of your hands to come to the middle. You can not have one polarity with out the other or there would be no zone so to speak. Remove this state and one can become magnetized or polarized to one side or the other. This is very easy to happen. As you would notice if you take one of ends of the magnet and would slightly move it, it would then slip and flip over to the other attracted side and become magnetized/polarized. The same is very easily achieved in your life when trying to balance it. Most people are not balanced. They are either polarized to one end or the other.
Often when one tries to become balanced and have resided in one extreme for a long time they often find themselves searching for a balance and when they do that they bring in too much of the other side and it is here where it becomes very easy to have that ping pong effect and move too fast and slip right past the bubble. You know when you are outside of that bubble and there is slippage, you flip and become magnetized and hence polarized. So if one is not careful they go to the other extreme. Now this isn’t a bad thing, it may seem so but this is just part of the Balancing Act. When one garners
experience of both sides and one plays around enough with the magnet they become to get a better feel and slowly they start bringing their hands (with the magnets) closer and closer together, step by step. Taking those baby steps to fit into that bubble, that state of balance where both sides are repelling each other. The same is also true in life.
Now when one magnet is far enough from the other end, there is no attraction, there is no repelling going on. This is the null state or there is not enough force gathered to have one effect or another on each other. This state is where a person is in their life resting or finding no attracting or drives for anything. Basically it is a resting period. You can rest as long as you would like but we all know that, that doesn’t last forever, =). Sooner or later you are back at the game of polarity integration where one can choose to become balanced or take either polarity if they so choose. I hope that this has shed some light on some things. Remember it is just all one great big balancing act, then again, it might not be.
Peace, Love and Joy,
Ed
You can contact Ed at tbolt_65@yahoo.com. Ed says you can distribute his work freely but please credit it with his name.
Working With The Mirror
Author’s identity anonymous.
Working With The Mirror
What’s missing in the prevalent misunderstood view of the Mirror Model of this realm is a deeper understanding of what “issues” actually are, as well as what is the true state of the Self. Reflections brought to us via the Mirror cannot be properly worked with if our basic context is misunderstood.
An “issue” is a personal perspective on an aspect of existence or an idea, that is “off-center”, literally.
An issue is a bias, a prejudice, a slant, an angle on a subject/situation/possibility/idea, etc. that is not whole or full in its comprehension. Not truly centered in its perspective and understanding of that something, but rather is off to one side or another, or off by some degree, from “center”.
So a portion of all that is true about something is obscured from the view of a person with an issue. Moreover, by maintaining this biased perspective with preference, tension is created in the perceiving self such that a reaction occurs when that aspect or idea is encountered in some contrary way.
An “issue” is a personality having a stake in an idea or aspect of existence being a certain way, and not any other way. Or having a personal stake in an idea or aspect of existence being in one of several ways, but not abiding that idea or aspect of existence being all ways imaginable.
An “issue” is the personality refusing to accept all possibilities with regard to a certain idea or aspect of existence. Again, a bias in perception, comprehension and understanding.
This is a good time to recall that All is One. Absolutely all that there is, makes up One Being. No parts are excluded. Nothing is a mistake. All is allowed, all is natural. Nothing exists outside ALL that is, which is One.
All exists, without prejudice. In order to rise to full awareness or “unify with The One”, it becomes clear that a person must “become like The One”, which means allowing all, including all in one’s perception of Self, excluding nothing, and truly coming to a place of no bias/prejudice.
Understanding that all bias/prejudice is some degree off center, it’s clear that each of these biased/prejudiced understandings must be rectified back to center. Whatever is missing in a person’s perspective, whatever is rejected, denied, repressed or distorted, must be explored until true understanding is revealed to the consciousness, in order to “rectify back to center”.
The perceiving person must unify with all that is with regard to whatever “issue” is in play, whenever an issue is in play.
Every issue, any issue, of a mental or emotional nature, has both a positive and negative aspect to it (simplistically speaking, of course). When we are resolved with regard to an issue, we are full/whole/complete in our understanding of it, and therefore neutral in our expression of it. Centered. Unmoved in either a positive or negative way about that issue.
If we acknowledge, understand and express only the positive aspect of an issue, we most assuredly carry the opposite, its corresponding negative, within us. Understanding the negative aspect of our positive view, truly understanding it, brings us closer to our true Self, which is neutral. Our True Self, which is also unified with The One, is also neutral.
Lacking a true understanding of the negative aspect of our positive view will attract to us that negative reflection over and over and over until we realize we are denying it within our own energies of true Self. Until we finally raise our awareness of the issue higher, to the heart, where there is no longer any conflict or duality around the issue.
The Self in its true state is whole. 360 degrees of any issue is understood, unified with, and the Self stands calmly in the center. All issues existent in a dualistic universe are actually already resolved within a true Self. There is no bias in either a positive or negative expression or understanding of any issue at the true Self level. The aim is to achieve this true Self status, therefore the work is to become neutral, centered, unified with all views of every issue we feel reaction to within us.
It is the personality that “has” issues, until the true Self is realized. The True Self, on the other hand, simply knows. It does not “have issue” with any of What Is, because it knows. Therefore, wherever there is “issue”, it is the personality that has a prejudicial understanding and expression of ideas, held in both the emotional and mental bodies, in this realm.
Reflections of this “self energy status” will be presented to the person, in both positive and negative aspects, via the Mirror, which is part of the paradigm design. Learning to SEE THE UNSEEN is learning to recognize Self in each aspect of these mirrored reflections, regardless of polarity.
Resolving an issue in this realm to a “true state” means unifying with both its negative and positive energies; emotional and mental, and becoming neutral.
This is why positive beings attract negative reflections. Not because they are targeted as prey, not because they are positively oriented as if it is a realized status, but because they are still in bias, still not centered or unified in their consciousness. The mirror model helps us see where and how we are still denying a portion of ourselves, by reflecting those aspects to us outside ourselves, in “other”, so we can work with it, until we finally “realize” it is a reflection of Self. No matter how negative, no matter how positive the reflection is.
This is the work to be done before reaching a higher state, or a unified state, where a person exists from a unified center in this realm. Unified beings are extremely rare in this realm. The heart is the center where unification exists, and most human beings in this realm are still living from other centers in their energy fields; i.e., lower emotional and/or lower intellectual.
All centers eventually unify within the “heart center”, so that there is a clear, direct, unbiased and fully unified expression of Self that carries no opposition externally, because it encompasses all views within its center and knows it. Is consciously aware of it and can act appropriately from this awareness.
And the Self is not opposed to any view. And it is not opposed to them because it knows. It understands the basis of existence for each bias and with that understanding, is at peace in the face of each, feeling no need to change anything in any way.
__________________________
Point of clarification: The word “expression” is used often in this piece. One “expresses” simply by breathing here. We all emanate an energy signature or frequency vibration that is our “Expression” here.
An example of how someone positively expressing/understanding would attract a negative…
Pat has worked hard to understand how life works in this universe, and has come to some deep understandings of the workings, and how to affect positivity here. Pat knows truth to a degree that is uncommon. Pat expresses this truth with skill and even helps others to grasp it as well. Pat is living in service to others with a beneficial intent and action that expresses in the positive.
Pat encounters Jay while doing this work. Jay seems to be a psychopath, or an energy sucker, or a psychic vampire, or an agent or a pawn of the hyperdimensional beings that “control” this universe. Jay seems to deliberately work to hamper Pat’s good intentions. Jay heckles, jeers at, attacks and sabotages Pat’s best efforts.
Pat encountered Jay as a negative reflection, via the Mirror, to reveal something to the consciousness of Pat. What is still unknown but being revealed through the negative reflection of Jay is for the good of Pat. Regardless of the impact of such an encounter, it is occurring because Pat has come to a certain level of understanding and is vibrating at that frequency of understanding in this realm. And that frequency is attracting this “negative” reflection in order that Pat rectify it with Pat’s existing knowledge. It is an aide to Pat in Pat’s growing consciousness. It serves, if used, to “round out Pat’s knowledge”, meaning to make it whole/complete.
Back to “All Is One”. When we step into the work of helping others with our knowledge, we will encounter what seem like “tests” and “initiations” that put us through paces regarding our knowledge. This doesn’t occur because someone is running the show, or because controllers watch our every move and seek to jump in when we get dangerously close to something they’d rather we didn’t. It isn’t a punishment, either.
It may very well seem that way for quite some time, and holding this view does not prevent one from learning the rudimentary workings of ignorance and fear. We become able to identify how fear and ignorance generates behaviors in others, we discover at least one side of our issue by observing it in others and interacting with them in a negative fashion.
However at some point the understanding must shift to a core level. The core level is where the true cause of our interactions with others exists in constant potential. It is “fueling” our experiences because we do not “know” this true source yet. Once we understand what we were previously ignorant of within our own resource energies, we no longer need to repeat the experience! We’ve “realized” ourselves [in this issue] at the core source. The core of understanding, the centered perspective, is the only place of true resolution regarding any experience.
At the core, any understanding is whole, complete and in alignment with The Law of One: There is only One, experiencing itself in myriad form. Each of us is a reflection of that One. We experience ourselves in myriad form, through our interactions with “other” in the seeming external universe we live in. Our experience of the universe is a micro reflection of The One experiencing itself. We are the center or core source of all of our experiences.
So these “tests” and “initiations” occur because our knowledge is not yet whole or complete. Once we venture into an area of knowledge, we will encounter all there is to understand about it, so that it can be fulfilled within our consciousness.
Because we in this realm are perfect micro reflections of The One, we must include all that is, with regard to that knowledge we’re moving into. If we do not understand and express all that is with regard to our knowledge, we will experience the missing pieces in a negative fashion, or so it will seem.
What we do not yet understand is in darkness in our consciousness. It is not yet brought to light. It is hidden from our conscious view and understanding. Though we might understand a great deal about a given subject, what we do not understand about that same subject is the ignored, denied, rejected, or repressed aspects. In other terms, what we do not yet understand about that topic is the “negative” to our positive. And it is naturally, inexorably and magnetically attracted to its counterpart, which is the light we do understand and express.
It is so attracted because without those parts that we unconsciously ignore, deny, reject or repress, the knowledge – the idea – is not complete. And it is seeking fulfillment, as all life is. Every idea, every being, all consciousness, seeks fulfillment.
So… we will first encounter this “dark” aspect of the knowledge we carry as a “negative experience”.
On a more mechanical level, what attracts the people who act negatively toward us, is our ignorance and/or fear. We “meet” in resonance with them due to this “dark” aspect of our consciousness. Our ignorance and/or fear is the reason we have neglected, ignored, denied, or maintained the repression of some portion of knowledge from our own consciousness. And this is what is in our frequency vibration attracting (via the Mirror) the “negative” encounters. The encounters are a reflection of our own darkness (ignorance) in regard to the knowledge we claim to understand. If we encounter these negative reflections, rest assured our knowledge is not complete.
So few realize that when one’s knowledge is complete with regard to some topic, they will not encounter resistance, argument, attack and the like. Because they will have included all that is with regard to that topic, in their awareness or understanding of the knowledge. They will carry no fear and no ignorance of possibilities within their energy field. They are open and aware.
There is nothing attractive to negatively oriented beings in openness and a lack of fear. There is no cause for them to “feed”, for there is nothing to feed upon. There is only truth, light, openness and the absence of “food for the moon”, or fear.
When the mind encounters the idea presented here in its truth, it balks. And it does so because it becomes overwhelmed with the sheer amount of possibilities it must account for with regard to even one area of knowledge! But there is good news…
This is not the only life a person is living. This is not the only venue of exploration being utilized within the One, in the Now, by the essence of a person. Each [human] life carries only so many unexplored territories, only so many paths of fulfillment to account for. And that amount or that set of ideas is not managed by the human personality level, or the human mind, but by the greater Self, the source of that human expression at this level.
In fact, this is why the Mirror is such a wonderful device in this realm. Without it, we would be hard pressed to discover what aspects of knowledge of All That Is we wanted to explore in this lifetime! We would swim endlessly in a sea of possibilities without an anchor or point of focus, and our explorations would be aimless. The Mirror helps us realize where our ignorance still lies; the specific ignorance we are here in this lifetime to explore to realized fulfillment.
So when Pat explores what Jay’s behavior toward Pat is truly reflecting, Pat’s consciousness/awareness will increase in that area and Pat can move on to other avenues of exploration. However, if Pat misidentifies what Jay represents in Pat’s life, Pat will continue to encounter “Jay-like” people reflecting the very same energies, until Pat finally properly identifies what is required to make Pat’s understanding whole/complete.
This misidentification of negative experiences is extremely prevalent at this level, understandably. Continuing to misunderstand what the mirror reflects to us can and often does bring on depression, illness, frustration, despair, etc. These additional negative energies compound any existing fears or ignorance, making one’s experience of being here rather bleak. We learn to “suffer over our suffering”, so to speak, and end up spinning wheels and behaving in ways that are anything but open.
What often happens is that “battle plans”, “strategies” and a “warrior” stance become the name of the game for many. Because they have not properly identified the cause of their negative experiences long enough that the impact of their ignorance is wearing on them, they “conclude” that they are in a battle for their lives or souls or what-have-you, and remain stuck fighting the external reflections, rather than resolving them at their source, which is within the being’s own energies.
Many are “stuck” at this level, never rectifying their knowledge well enough to stop battling themselves in the illusion.