Jul 15

Musings for 7/15/2017

I have been out of town and otherwise engaged recently and at one point was going to write offline on an airplane, but decided to play Candy Crush instead and finish listening to Keepers of the Garden by Dolores Cannon. If you aren’t familiar with her work, it’s phenomenal and this was a very good “introduction” book. I usually prefer the written word to an audio book, but I really enjoyed listening to this (Audible has it if you have the app).

I’ve been familiar with Dolores and bits and pieces of her work for years, but have never actually read one of her books. I began listening to this one last year and wasn’t interested so I moved on, but something brought me back to it when I began this trip. I guess I was finally ready to hear the information. I bring this up because my recent trip was a fascinating journey and so much more than the obvious business trip. I set out on a Sunday mid-day on my way to Atlanta to stay with my Aunt Shirley. I saved the company money by not flying out of Huntsville, and got to stay and have a short visit with her, so it was a win-win. The last time I went to her house alone, I had begun Keepers of the Garden and also let my Maps app take me off the beaten path. It was very dark, and a lot of back roads. I wasn’t comfortable at all and finally ended up on a road that I had traveled on Erin’s last pleasure trip to Alpharetta, GA to go to the American Girl store. That was before Aunt Shirley lived there, but anyway, the point is that after some inner rebellion at the book and the route I found myself on a familiar route, and one that brought tears to my eyes for several reasons.

This time when I set out, I punched in her address and saw the route I had taken before. I’ll take it, I thought, and it should be a pretty route in the daylight. Indeed it was! I rather enjoyed the rivers and mountains and scenery as I went along and did not get uneasy until I found myself in a off path area near Alpharetta that was very rural but had what looked like expensive estates, many which looked like horse farms. It was a pretty area, and I was resolved to let the GPS take me there.  But I breathed a sigh of relief when I turned on to Main Street.

When I landed in Baltimore, it was a similar story. Immediately from the airport, I was thrust into neighborhoods. Go .3 miles and take a left turn, .7 miles and take a right, etc. etc. They were nice areas…until they weren’t! At one point I came upon a huge prison that was on both sides of the two lane road. I wasn’t sure if I was mistakenly heading into a dead end there or passing through. I was passing through, but it didn’t help that there was a car “following” me since the airport. I was relieved when I noticed it going another direction…finally.

The rest of my trip was fairly normal as far as travel routes go. I guess the universe knew I was a little spent LOL! For several reasons, though, I had a sad, memory filled day. So after I deplaned and went to the bathroom, I just aimlessly walked in some direction. Before I knew it, I had walked – with very blistered and sore feet mind you – to the end of the terminal. So then I had to turn around and walk back the entire length of the terminal just to get to the Plane Train. UGH.

I was telling my aunt about my journey, and how I knew I was supposed to notice that I was off the beaten path. I’m still pondering it, and I had another experience on my ride home. I left Alpharetta yet another way, through some of the same areas, but realized that I had driven an hour without the foggiest idea where I was, and that rural Georgia has a lot of “All Way” stop signs. I suppose I was following my “guidance” (GPS) just as one would on a spiritual journey. Thankfully I had minimal fear and paid attention enough to find my way. If I took a wrong turn, I got rerouted. I also finished the book.

Yesterday I decided to pull a card from my Wildwood deck to see if I got the correct message from my experience. I pulled The Moon on Water (numerically an 18). On the card, the moon reflects across the land and water in the dusk sky. You can just vaguely see your pathway, and of course the water reflects emotions and the collective unconscious. I’m still learning the intricacies of the Wildwood, but the book says that it “heralds a time of inner transformation, initiation, or awareness. This may take the form of a seemingly random situation based in the emotional or spiritual spheres…”

Also, 18=9 which is a number of completion. I had a trans-formative situation in a personal relationship yesterday also, which is a completion of sorts (as I completed one phase and transitioned to another).

On a deeper level, I can now see that I am learning to be less fearful of the journey or process and oddly, of the outcome too. You would think that I knew my outcome (destination) but without knowing the way, I was unsure of where I would end up! I also kept allowing the GPS to route me when I actually had the ability to choose another route. So I was open to the process in a way I had not been before. In the past I have said I need to know the outcome, and I can endure the journey. I really had no idea that they were so connected as I had not viewed them that way previously.

As a side note, I mentioned a relationship transformation.While relationships are obviously joint efforts, I reached a point where I no longer need to assign responsibility or blame for anything in the past. I just know I want to proceed differently, and both parties can take responsibility for our actions and reactions and proceed accordingly. Why do I need to remind, or be reminded, of past shortcomings? My heart knows the way…that’s all I need to know now. No more negative stimuli is needed to learn.

Apparently I am now finished here today, as the flow is gone. Blessings and love, and #missingerin <3

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