Ah, hello good people. I wanted to write you yesterday but ran out of time (and just to be completely honest, I ran out of time yesterday 6/27 and so am finishing this up today). It’s been a weekend of anxiety for me and then I got a sore throat, but the good news is that I figured out the emotional cause of what’s ailing me.
I participated in a discussion on Saturday where I asked a couple of questions, but instead of getting an answer I got mostly replies that I was misinformed, needed to read this or that (subjects which I was already knowledgeable in so no, I didn’t read), and a bunch of “either you’re with or against us” type replies. Ouch. But mostly ouch because I felt unheard. I asked two valid questions, neither of which were answered and were barely acknowledged. And I really did want to know the answers to them. I wasn’t just dissenting in other words.
Backup to last week when I also felt unheard and completely dismissed in another verbal discussion. Ouch on that one too. I haven’t felt that way to that degree since my college boyfriend told me that everything I said was stupid and no one wanted to hear anything I had to say. No, I didn’t recognize verbal abuse then and yes, it left an imprint I haven’t cleared away yet.
I guess it always surprises me when new layers of old issues I thought were cleared up come back. But I will be glad to clear my throat chakra and this unpleasant feeling issue now that it’s been brought to my attention. I’m still not entirely sure how to stop “pushing against” because naturally, we have all have a need to feel heard and understood. But after a back and forth discussion with TZ, I think I’ve got it. “I love feeling heard and understood.” “I feel heard and understood.” I can flip this to the positive in several different ways I think and now I’m ready to heal it. (See how helpful writing can be? **smile**)
As I typed that, I had such a strong feeling to go with it. I thought of my dear friend Sowelu, who I haven’t spoken with in awhile and by the way, if you are reading this Sowelu, I love you! <3 And I thought, I so need to reconnect with my soul family that I haven’t spoken with in awhile. I had to go out and collect the other ones, but it’s time to come home. Wow, what a deep healing I’m going through!
I apologize for fast forwarding again and making this disjointed, but I got interrupted yesterday (6/27) right about here and had to table this for today. That was perfect though, because I had even more understanding and healing come my way. Shaun’s aunt is very old and very sick and we had occasion to speak with her immediate family yesterday. One of them said something like “That’s just life, and you’re supposed to be better because of it” when referring to death. Later I said to Shaun, you know, I don’t need more death in my life to be better. I now know what I’m supposed to do to be better and I can do that with more positive experiences as my guideposts.
Then he reminded me of something he said last week. He said that he no longer needed to watch racist movies to know that racism is wrong. Or sad animal movies to know that we should treat animals with kindness and love. He gave a few more examples but you get the picture, and boy was it profound for me. I have read about places and spaces (not here on Earth) where you still get to learn and grow but with positive experiences not negative ones. And holy hell, I’m ready for that! Since I live here on Earth, I’m guessing that I have helped to anchor some of that positivity into this space/time. I’m just awestruck by what a different world I now live in.
And yes, that relates to my stopped up head and sore throat. After we got home and I mentioned how awestruck I was again, my throat began vibrating. It was so cool but also so different that I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I had to just sit and let it pass. I guess my throat isn’t as sore today and I’ve never gotten the fever Shaun had, so apparently I don’t need to experience any more sickness to get the point either.
On that note, I may have mentioned my knee last week. They thought I had a torn or thin meniscus but it turns out I have arthritis under my kneecap. Plus weak leg muscles which don’t keep the kneecap in place. Arthritis is really lots of inflammation, and so I have started a regime of Young Living essential oils to deal with that. Here’s what I’m using – and it’s working!
5 drops Helichrysum
5 drops Peppermint
5 drops Wintergreen
5 drops German Chamomile (this one is photo sensitive – don’t use it and be in the sun!)
Just drop these in a roller bottle and apply 3-4 times a day. I’ve been using this 3-4 days now and my knee is tons better. I know because I can walk up the stairs with no pain. I’m also using it on a spot on my lower spine that causes sciatic pain for me, and I haven’t had that either in 3-4 days. I am also layering Lemongrass and Frankincense a few times per day, and using Coconut oil as a carrier oil when I have the time to do so. By the way, I got the recipe for this inflammation and tissue healing mix from this website.
I may have more to say later, but right now my full sinuses are really messing with my clarity. Love and blessings to you all! <3 #missingerin <3