So this week I’m having a physical crisis I guess. The root cause, other than whatever went on pre-3 years ago, is 3+ years of intense stress and anxiety. When you are pumping cortisol and adrenaline most of every day, the wear and tear on your body is enormous. I have repeatedly said that I didn’t want to suffer, but I have been suffering just to be out of bed each day. It sort of added insult to injury.
One of the things I know, even if I’m not happy about it, is that I have to fulfill my destiny, if you will, before I can be released from this daily hell that I call my life. And to do that, I have to use this physical vehicle (body). So I sort of need to keep it in good working order. I suppose a bonus would be actually feeling good so that there are no restrictions on activity. Right now, I am pretty well restricted to short bursts of energy but mostly being so tired that I feel drugged and am struggling to be coherent.
For the last 2+ months I have had severely chapped lips, complete with cracked corners. I’ve been exceedingly tired and at times obsessive over odd things. If Shaun is reading this he’s probably scratching his head on the obsessive thing…I try to not to publicize it when I realize I’m being irrational LOL. I’m gaining more weight around my mid-section in the form of fat. And even though I’m tired, sleeping is difficult as is staying asleep.
Before Erin ever became ill, I had what is called adrenal fatigue. Western medicine does not recognize adrenal fatigue, and even most specialists treating adrenal failure fail to look at the wholistic point of view. Our body is an ecosystem of sorts and the different organs and glands and what not work together. It’s important to look at the root cause.
Also, from a holistic perspective, the body will only present so many symptoms at one time. If you had any idea of the amount of stuff going on and going wrong in your body right now, you would understand why the body could be overwhelmed if it allowed something to surface that it wasn’t prepared to fight. Sometimes it just gets beaten down and can no longer suppress whatever it is. Sometimes, it has actually gotten healthier and says “Ok, we can fight this now! Let it out of the cage!”
As we would say in the south, I’m currently eaten up with fungus, or should I say fungi? I’ve even got some strep strains and varicella (chicken pox virus). But my body’s desire for iron and my adrenal support did not go up, so my guess is that I fall into the latter category where I got better and it unleashed some more beasts. Either way it still feels shitty and I’m nearly incapacitated.
I was able to get my May 16th doctor’s appointment with my Naturopath moved up to yesterday morning, and she also started me on a weekly regimen of hydrogen peroxide therapy. It’s called Bio-Oxidative therapy to be exact, but google it and you’ll find it’s fascinating. I was wiped out most of yesterday after having the first dose but feel better today. I’m actually a little tired right now but I think I got emotionally wiped after being on FaceBook. Why I find a need to read the hateful and fearful reactions of others I have no idea. I really should stop because A) I want no part of it and B) it’s not my drama. I do, however, feel strongly that we should be taking care of people instead of abandoning them. After everything that has happened in my life, I will never be accused of being uncaring. I know some people don’t want to do anything if it doesn’t benefit them but hey folks, you too will need help some day. And against my better judgment I would give it to you because it’s the right thing to do, but I will not forget your poor character.
If this world ever needed more love it’s right here and right now. Despite my sorrow, and perhaps because of it, I’ve got enough for me and you and perhaps all of us. So if you feel unloved, know that I love you. Someone cares. I care. There are others who care. You aren’t alone.
Namaste, and #missingerin <3