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Aug 08

Musings for 8/8/2016

For those of you who follow it, today is the Lions Gate 8-8. On top of that, the energy coming off the sun is geomagnetic storm high and we are being bombarded with all sorts of cosmic energy. Good thing too, because otherwise I might just sink into a pit of despair.

If you have followed my blog for the last two years, I know it’s been pretty pitiful. If I have taught anything from my being and my words, I hope it is that grief does not end. It doesn’t get better. It does change, and sometimes from day to day just like a yo-yo going up and down or the moon waxing and waning. Today I am … OK. Tomorrow, perhaps not so much. I do know that 2 years ago today I still did not know that Erin’s body was dying. I was, however, too upset to think too much about it being Greg’s birthday, but still thought we would have a wake for him when Erin got out of the hospital. Needless to say we never had Greg’s wake and of course, Erin never came home from the hospital.

I know that many of you who read me here are not the same audience who might read my articles on emotional health, metaphysics, etc. So I really do try to accommodate you all by not getting too deep. I certainly don’t want to turn anyone off due to religious affiliation, etc. But I ask you to keep an open mind and to also know that words are just words. Sometimes what we see and feel in our hearts is nearly the same, but we mince words and well, become divided. I say this only because it’s time for me to get back to my work and that is…ummm…healer of souls. You laugh? Me too 🙂

Not too long ago someone asked me what my specialty was and before I knew it I had blurted out healing souls. Anyway, my particular niche I think is to help people work through their emotional patterns and to know that they are loved. Now that’s a very broad generalization but I know you didn’t come here to read that today. If you did, drop me a comment below or ask a question and I’ll get to it ASAP.

I want to take the time now, though, to remember my friend Lisa Lessard. I wrote about Lisa recently, well a few months ago, and posted the beautiful necklace that she had sent me and the key chain that she had sent Shaun. Lisa was from CO, and we had originally been FarmVille friends on FaceBook. When Erin’s body died, she asked for a bracelet, and wrote to tell me she wore it every day and that it gave her comfort, and lots of sweet other things. She was very special to me and, well, she passed away around a month ago from cancer.

I have wondered if this is too personal to share, but her niece sent me a lovely note and a few gifts after Lisa passed. The note says:

Dearest Nicole,

You have been a very important part of my life. You have given to so many people even as you go through your heart break. Amazingly, through your pain, you have helped myself and countless others face their problems with a “can do” spirit. Erin Alyssa and I are going Fishing!

Love,

Lisa

I have experienced so much beauty and kindness in the past 2 years that I cannot possibly put it into words. But I think that maybe the energy in Lisa’s letter to me embodies it, and so I decided to share it with you. I remember each of you reaching out, may not remember exactly what you said but I remember that you cared. I remember the donations that kept us out of debt, and I have recovered enough emotionally that I feel guilty for taking them! I remember those who brought food, who took me to lunch when I didn’t want to leave the house, who sat with me as I cried (and told me not to feel stupid afterwards). I remember…whatever it was…I remember. And I am still and forever grateful.

I haven’t written in a month because I’ve been in a funk again. Not the same sort of funk but a funk nevertheless. I haven’t read tarot, I haven’t meditated, I have just zoned out as much as possible. I know I have to attend to me, and to you, again as I feel the call. Funny week to send me a nudge guys (talking to my team).

Please send Shaun and I some love over the airwaves as we come up on 8/14. We miss her so much, it’s beyond belief.

Love, blessings, nutsmaste and Namaste, and #missingerin and #LovingErin <3

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