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Jul 05

Musings for 7/5/2016

Oh boy am I depressed. I hate to admit it, mostly to myself, because it feels so damn bad and I don’t want to have to face facts that I feel this shitty. Two years ago we had a lovely July 4th, watched fireworks with Erin and friends at the Hampton House and it was a lot of fun. I remember I had a beer and she spanked my bottom. Mommy didn’t drink around Erin because my mother was a drunk and I never appreciated it to say the least. Anyway, I told her I was only having one or two if that was ok with her. Barely a month later and she was in ICU dying. Who knew 🙁

We did run into an old friend on Sunday while visiting the Elks Lodge. That was nice and uplifting. I gave her my message of Love and it made me feel good to pass that on. Love is really a cure all you know? Ah, but when you don’t feel much self love the feeling doesn’t last. By any standard I have a lot to be in gratitude for, but I’ve got that wound that won’t heal. So it’s pain and suffering, no matter what I do.

I wondered when i started writing why I continue to share this with you all. The only answer I could come up with is that those of you who have no context, well, know that it doesn’t end and to be kind to your grieving friends. We can’t just feel better. It doesn’t work that way. I know I’ve said it before but here I am saying it again. It’s a life sentence in the worst prison imaginable.

News and social media isn’t very uplifting either, really. Murders, wars, politics, finger pointing, my god is better than yours, you are bad, those people over there are bad, blah blah, fear of economic collapse, the list goes on those are just what came to mind. Do you know how much time and energy we as a collective spend on anger and fear? Shit tons. There is no unity. I’m not even sure what unity looks like to be honest. The EU isn’t unity, and the US isn’t unity either. We say we celebrate differences but we don’t, we shun them and bully them out of the general population.

It occurs to me that realism is depressing. Guess that’s why most people live in a fantasy land of whatever it is that floats their boat while they overlook what’s really going on. That’s ok if that’s the best you can do. I get it. I do the best I can each day to survive just like you. Today I am barely doing it. Tomorrow, might be better.

Blessings, Namaste, Nutsmaste, #missingerin and #LovingErin <3

3 comments

  1. Diane Leveille

    I know exactly how you feel and what you mean when you say A Life Sentence in Prison . When my son passed away my whole world changed , I have tried to move on but each holiday , birthday & the day he passed away (5 days before christmas the one day he loved more then anything) that comes along there comes the dread,tears &prayers for better times .I will die loving him as much as I loved him all his life he was my only son , he had 3 sisters older then him so he is dearly loved and is so missed by them to . Ty for your posting makes makes me feel like I can make it to-day .

    1. Nicole

      Diane, I’m so sorry. I know there are no words, so I’ll just send you lots of Love, and Hugs <3 <3 <3 And I know exactly what you mean.

  2. Jason Lee Blue

    we can never have true unity, or anything that even comes close to it, as like as the dark-reptilian and their even bigger and darker overlords lose this world to the “good guys”, and believe me, the stark contrast between these “dark overlords” and the “good guys” makes the difference between christians and isis look like the difference between two quarters minted in the same year. …. the government coverups that most people ignore as conspiracy, well, they leave it at that. the rest of us who know there’s a coverup usually are scratching their heads as to WHY unless they are very very informed; I can tell you the WHY and i’ve done my homework. the WHY is because right now our government is trying to juggle 4 dishes at once and is about to lose a few with much crashing and broken china everywhere.. our govt. is in secret union with races that, back in the 1950’s, the govt signed a treaty (its called the grenada or greneda treaty or something along those words) that said “sure, go ahead and abduct our people, as long as you don’t hurt them too much, and in exchange we get to play with your advanced zeta-reptile technologies. so the deal was made and people started vanishing, and within 30 years of the treaty we had long since put a man on the moon and had the capacity to make microchips the size of a human hair, or whatever. case in point though; after a while people started getting taken by massive numbers and NOT in friendly ways… looks like someone was breaking the original greneda treaty!! once certain factions of our govt. figured out what the reptiles and zetas had dug into the earth and what was down there, they literally started a cold war with these beings. we’ve been fighting them as hard as we can since probably the mid 1960’s or 70’s. at least. there have been government black-ops and special-ops teams lead to take back OUR OWN BASES. this is why the mass coverup and all in all it probably stems from their fear of mass panic on the part of regular citizens- if everyone started reinacting war of the worlds and it turns out that the story is true, what would people do??? mass riot? uncontrollable anti-government groups getting so huge noone can deal with them any better than isis?? a complete hault to the way our food is grown and how to get it out to people?? (in essense, the end of the way our world works as we know it, instead of this mostly smooth-running lie that we live in today) – so yes, they have their reasons not to let everyone know we are literally at war with the very beings who suckered us with the tech-offer. so, now we have their tech, which they are pretty good at using against us (pox blankets!) and a large factor of some GOOD aliens who are stepping in to help us develop some stuff that the bad guys simply don’t have any way of winning against right now. ——- anyway…..
    the closest thing I can show you as to what unity will be when the lizard-men and their fallen-angel overlords finally lose control of this sphere, would be some factors of the “furry community” and how they will operate once the bad guys are kaputz. for now, in general, you might just google a “furry community wikipedia” or “wiki” alone. poke around, find some art sites, and get an idea of what we are all about. most furries/otherkins have no idea that they are in commands on higher levels such as the ashtar command, the various divisions of the order of melchezidek, or some as-yet unnamed group of friendlies observing and working with our world. most of the furries and kins are simply not aware of this, perhaps not ready and maybe they are still buds that haven’t bloomed or butterflies not out of their cocoon yet. over the years as I’ve tried to teach a lot of them and wake them up, its apparent to me that that cocoon theory is very true and we simply can’t force them!! they will awaken when their guides deem them to be awakened, I guess. for now, they mill around a lot in the matrix along with everyone else. even so, id love to show you some things in the community you’ve never seen before….. maybe not even imagined.

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