Embarrassment and feeling stupid have turned to downright frustration. I admit it feels similar, but the flavor and scent are somewhat different. Ha ha. If I thought banging my head would help, I’d print that graphic out and attach it to a firm surface and proceed. But I know it will only give me a headache.
Still, I am now reminded of getting the emotional debris out of the physical body by some sort of safe physical violence, such as pounding your mattress or pillow. It actually really helps to process the emotions out of the physical body and you might be surprised. I once had a plastic baseball bat that I used to beat my bed. I liked the swing more than a pillow. It didn’t hurt the bat, me, the bed, or anything or anyone else so that’s what makes it safe. And it really works. I think I need to take my own advice today.
The best part of this is…I have no idea really what I am frustrated about. Still the feeling in my torso from my lower abdomen up to my throat chakra is strong. I am really processing out some residual stuff from – ?? – I don’t know. But I know that’s what it is.
By the way, I write about my processes so that it may help you. For example, I had a friend text the other day about what she was going through, and feeling, and I realized that she was in a stage of really “awakening” and she was experiencing absolutely normal feelings. But for some people who are in that space, it scares the hell out of them because it’s so far from their normal. I don’t know if that applied to my friend, but it applies to a lot of people. Then when they find out by reading, or talking with others with similar experiences, that they aren’t alone, it helps.
Misery may love company, but we aren’t meant to stay there but for an instant. Once you know that something is going on, you really do not have to hold on to it. I do not want to hold on to this frustration feeling any longer. I have seen it, greeted it, thanked it, and right this minute I am sending it love. I read yesterday that once you welcome a visitor, they often leave very soon. It’s the ones you try to keep at bay that stay forever. And wouldn’t you know it – I already feel it subsiding.
Still don’t have a clue what I am supposed to learn via this experience, though. But I expect it will be revealed to me soon. Or maybe, it’s just that I had to process this out of my cells and energy field. I think that is more of what this is. I also wonder what tomorrow’s emotion will be, LOL!
So the process seems to be…
- Recognize and feel the emotion. It’s important to be dead honest with yourself – I am feeling X, Y, Z. Even if you don’t know why you are feeling it, dive in deep and feel it. Honor yourself with that – it’s there for a reason.
- Ask yourself what you need to learn from this experience. You may or may not get an answer in your heart or mind, but if you do you will know it. If you need to sit with it awhile, do that. If not the feeling will start to move on sooner.
- Make sure to thank the ego/inner child for the experience of feeling that emotion. Send love to yourself, say the words that your ego always wanted to hear in regards to that emotion. It may be “You are smart!” Or “I love you” or even “You are beautiful.”
And don’t be surprised if you feel the emotional trigger again. Sometimes we have to peel the onion back a few layers due to a lifetime of accumulation.
I will end with this…last night I had the blessing of opening up to Shaun about feeling stupid and embarrassed. I don’t always share my inner work with him, mostly because delving into my mind is confusing for most people who aren’t me! But, I did, and that helped me to finish with those emotions. By being honest with him and speaking out loud, I in turn was completely honest with me. You don’t have to talk to others, but do talk with yourself. Even if you feel stupid doing so – your Self is listening just like it is when you criticize yourself or someone else does. The psyche hears all.
On to the next phase, of whatever this is. I seem to be traveling at lightening speed!
Namaste, Nutmaste, blessings, #missingerin and #lovingerin <3