Ha! I am at a loss for a title again and too tired to think up one, so I will just stick with this out of pure laziness. I am able to make the decision to be lazy without feeling guilty aren’t I? Of course I am, and you are too. Just be honest about it, because honesty with Self and others is what matters most in reconciling emotions and changing habits and patterns.
That was an unexpected topic, and now I can no longer remember what I wanted to say today. It’s in here, though, so bear with me. I am still courageously saying I Love You to FaceBook each day and am on Day 3 of that. I am obviously patting myself on the back and providing encouragement with the courageous statement. You see, yesterday I had another experience that amused and perplexed me.
I had to get out of my home office and actually dress in business attire and see people yesterday. Yeah, it’s a big deal for me. Since Erin’s body died, I have really had to be careful to shield myself from emotions that aren’t mine. It doesn’t matter if they are good or bad emotions, they get overwhelming. And being an empath, I simply take on things that are not mine because I feel everything going on around me. It’s more a blessing than a curse, though. Who would want to be unfeeling? Not me. I got the better end of that stick.
So anyway I am blessed to be in a position to moderate my physical exposure to others and honestly, a lot of days I only open the doors to let the dog out to the bathroom. I feel overexposed even walking to the mailbox. Can’t explain it but it’s true.
Well yesterday I ended up seeing several people, mostly all at once in an office, that I had not seen in a long time. It was so good to see them! They seemed glad to see me, and I was glad to see them! Yay! I really mean that…I enjoyed it immensely. But as soon as I walked out the door to my car, I felt the feeling I had felt the day before when I got “overexposed” on FaceBook with the first day of I Love You’s. So yeah, it amused and perplexed me, but I am coming to understand it.
I was right about my heart chakra opening up wide, taking it all in. And by all in, I mean blending with everyone else’s emotional field. The description I used a few days ago about feeling vulnerable, and now I understand exposed, is correct. It’s like an intense energy merge, and it’s very personal. I don’t know how else to describe it and if you aren’t very empathic you wouldn’t feel it. But I do! And it’s intense, and it scares me.
I realize that I have felt this feeling many times over the years in various scenarios, and each time I end up feeling “dirty” as if I had just had sex with all of them. LOL! I may have mentioned part of this the other day, but as I said I am coming to understand it. Sex, obviously, is very personal right? And while this is quite different, the personal nature of opening up to others energy fields like this is really new to us HUmans. We keep a wall up of personal space and that includes our thoughts and feelings. Get too close and walls go up even higher than before. Hey, you, you can’t be in here! Why not? Because that’s not how we do things on Planet Earth, don’t you know that? *Sigh*
Yet at the same time, we throw around ideas and words like Collective Consciousness, We Are All One, and we talk about how everything is connected blah blah. Even science is finding this fact out now via quantum experiments and such. But when it comes to opening up our Selves to others, to that two way street, oh hell no! Can’t do that! You know how this is – you and I both have talked the talk but not walked the walk!
And I get it. Sometimes it is just too painful to get emotionally involved. It might be the animal shelter or the homeless guy on the street, but it hurts to see the struggle, to connect emotionally, and to not be able to “fix it” or whatever. But we also unconsciously close ourselves off to Love. We don’t give it or receive it, except in token gestures. We might say it to close family or friends. We might buy our kids toys to make up for not being at their ballgame. We might feel love for our parents but never say it, because they don’t say it to us either. Oh, and if that’s you, you are probably also keeping them at arms length emotionally and them you (who else would you have learned your behavior from? 🙂 ). But give or receive unconditional, pure love? Not us. And I know this from experience. I’m not just taking your word for it.
I am still awestruck by my physical body’s reaction to receiving love. I cannot believe, or at least I’m amazed, that it’s physically distressing to receive love! I mean, seriously, WTF! Not a question – an exclamation! I mean, how F’d up do we have to be to have a physical reaction to that? A lot I would think! ha ha. Oh, and I am totally loving the reactions I am getting on FaceBook. Don’t get me wrong, even the reactions that come across as confused, perhaps even distressed, are still so loving and beautiful! Remember I am reading your energy not necessarily your words, and also remember that I love you dearly. Seeing those cracks of light beaming forth from whatever was there before, it’s just beautiful. Today, each response I have read resulted in a huge smile breaking across my face each time I have checked my thread. So thank you for that, you beautiful, loving, and deserving people! You are truly awesome.
Now I will get off on a bit of an alt topic for a second…This wave of Unconditional Love, the learning and experiencing of it, is what we call the arrival of the Christ Consciousness. And it’s here, it’s permeating our planet. If you are unfamiliar with this but familiar with Jesus, what was his message? It was love. It IS love. He was love and he practiced love and kindness. I don’t even know why anyone bothers to ask what would Jesus do, because he would love. He would love and be kind all over your asses! And mine too. All of us. Because he embodied the Christ Consciousness (i.e., Unconditional Love) and he brought that to Earth 2000 years or so ago, and seeded it to grow into a flower. Well folks, we are flowering, right now. It was a mighty long bloom cycle, but will be well worth it when each of us flowers have bloomed.
I get a nice visual now, of us blooming and our love filled pollen being carried all over the planet. It touches even those who have hard hearts! Falls all over their windshields and houses and makes them sneeze and stuff. And they complain, oh how they complain! But eventually it’s in their system, and damn they can’t help but exude love themselves.
I reposted a friend’s blog post yesterday which asked “What if…” to many things. I’m going to ask you now to visualize this…What if instead of fear, everyone on this planet had a heart full of love? What if instead of greedy, they were kind? What if we suddenly realized that there is enough of whatever it is for everyone, and we were glad to help the guy next to us with his? What if you didn’t want for anything, and you just got to enJOY yourself every day, and love others? What if you got to experience life in JOY, and LOVE, and EXCITEMENT? What if!!!
So that’s the end of my flow for today. Love you all <3
Namaste, Nutmaste, #missingerin and #lovingerin