Where do I start? I have wanted to write something since late December, but was pretty much debilitated and unable to do so. December was a grueling month and it lasted into January for Shaun and I both. So much to say, so many interrelated topics. Let me start with what I think may be the most important piece.
I had preordered Matt Kahn’s book Whatever Arises, Love That. Yeah, I know you are thinking “whatever!” but if you listen to what Matt has to say, it makes a ton of sense. I’ve recommended him before and will again at his website , his FaceBook page, and his YouTube channel. I also highly recommend the book.
That said, obviously love is the topic. I don’t mean romantic love, I mean love. The love you feel for your fellow human. You know, the kind that pours out of your heart and in return flows into it. If you haven’t felt that lately, get the book. You’ll be glad you learned how to love again.
But that’s not what I wanted to say. I already learned that I was here, incarnated now and whenever else, for the experience. Not to learn – to experience. I plan to write an article on that because it’s very important. I learned years ago we are here to learn lessons. That’s only part of it though. Humans in particular, we never learn until we experience something. I can tell you ten times not to touch the stove because it will burn you. But you will touch it at least once, and then you learn through experience. I can also tell you to be kind to others, because you will regret it one day. But you will never learn until you experience that regret. And I’m telling you this…you guessed it…from experience.
So while that is a topic in and of itself, I was reading Matt’s book today on my day off and pondering how grief has actually opened my heart to love. Or more fully to love. It had the transforming effect of more love pouring in and out. Irony is a bitch, you know? Well, at least there is value right? That was more of a statement than a question.
Anyway it got me thinking. While I am in no way knocking the Keys of Compassion, because they are very valuable and have added tremendous value to my life, I don’t recall learning this piece about love that I am learning now. And maybe it just wasn’t part of it, or maybe I missed that point. I learned that Compassion is the opposite of Fear. Those are two sides of the scale, with compassion being the highest vibrational form of the positive side. And Compassion doesn’t mean what you think it does either. It means feeling empathy yes, but also loving enough to allow someone to experience their life’s lesson without trying to take away their pain. That is a watered down version of it but again, another article. I think I have an old one written in fact. See my Articles link. (I’m too lazy to look for you and link it – sorry.)
Well, I missed love in there somewhere. I had felt love, but I think most of my “love” was mental and not within my emotional body. I had deep abandonment issues from childhood and other lifetimes, and that sort of fear permeates your entire life. Even though I had shed a shit ton of that by the time Erin was born, I still had a lot of it. Fear I mean. I didn’t even know it, but it popped up to create dysfunctional situations in my every day life all the time. I had also never felt empathy for anyone who lost a child. I had an epiphany after Erin died – it was because that was too painful, and I was afraid of it. So I kept myself closed off in those situations. And, yes, I felt like a total jerk for every single time I had not felt it, or commented unkindly.
But now, I’ve just got love pouring out of my heart for everyone. Even people who do bad things. I may mentally be confused, dismayed, or even feel hurt by it, but I catch myself pouring love out of my heart chakra to them. So in other words, there is no rage or anger or feelings of revenge. Just love. Wow. It’s a profound feeling and perhaps not one I can ever explain to you.
There’s a commercial on in Alabama right now, that says something like no terrorist has ever been stopped by kind words. I wondered immediately – are you sure? Because at the root, everyone just wants to be loved. If they do something awful I agree they must be stopped, but I send them love just as I send you love. Love is the answer.
Well, I can only tell you about my experiences and like I said above, I cannot give you this wisdom, just the information. What you do with it is up to you.
I love you. Each and every one of you. Namaste, and #missingerin