I caught myself smiling a few minutes ago and this guy is who I was smiling at. His name is Mr. Bean and he was rescued by the Southern California Bulldog Rescue. When they described how much better he is doing than before, it made me smile. I wonder every day why more kindness isn’t shown to all creatures great and small. That’s a statement, because I know I will never find an answer other than people are assholes. Even those who recognize that all things were created by their god treat other living things horrendously. Nope, I do not know why. But I am glad Mr. Bean is thriving. He’s a cutie and lucky to have been rescued.
I am still working on “core” issues. I call them core because they are lifelong patterns, some of which I have also came across during past life regressions. I am both dismayed at the fact that they are still present, that they are here now, and that I have allowed them to F up my life again and again. But, I do see the value in learning what I’m learning. If I didn’t see the value and patterns in things, I’d probably be a raging lunatic right about now. Not raving – raging! Seriously dude. Can I please get it right this time?
I learned something yesterday, which oddly enough relates to Mr. Bean over there. As much as I believe in saving yourself, and that you can’t save others, I’m weary and secretly want saving. I say secretly – I didn’t admit it even to myself but I managed to come across it yesterday and had a “well shit” moment with it. I’m so tired, so weary, so this and so that. Can’t someone just fix it for me? Why didn’t they to start with? Well because it’s mine to fix, mine to do, mine to learn. But I don’t have to like it, ya know?
Oh, but back to the core. So it occurred to me that DUH, my core (back / core muscles etc.) is killing me and that is where I have had pain for ever and ever. And it has settled on the left side. Well, there are those core issues, and the heart is on the left side of the body. Hmmm…do you think my body and spirit are trying to tell me something? And here I am saying “Hey, just save me and fix it for me.” Maybe that is why I’ve had the pain for so long?
I have caught myself late at night, in bed so I am quiet and simply thinking or just moving my mouth with no sound, saying “Please help me.” I’m talking to anyone who is of the light and will listen. Please deliver me from this. THIS. All of it. And then I pull up my big girl pants and keep going because I can.
There is a difference in taking responsibility for yourself when you are able to do so and letting someone help you when you are not able. You aren’t being saved, but you do save yourself by accepting the help. Some people, and other living beings like Mr. Bean, can’t help themselves at times. And it is in these instances that we are bound by a responsibility to help them until they can. I do mean bound, and I don’t care if you disagree. If you have any moral code at all you know that you should be helping others. Yep, I just shoulded all over you. Deal with it. And be kind, for heaven’s sake be kind. Help the weary, the downtrodden, the children and the elderly, the infirm, all who need it. And then when and if they can ever help themselves again, you let them do it themselves.
I would like to think that everyone reading this is already kind and compassionate. Yeah, I will go with that. I know many of you are for certain, because you have shown the kindness to me. Thank you, not just for being kind to me but for being kind period. I appreciate that about all of you, and I’m proud to call you friends.
I guess that’s it for today because the train of thought is now gone. Namaste, blessings, and #missingerin