After posting This Little Light, I began thinking about survival. Survival instincts are what really spurred me to write the other blog post to start with. I had a bad night on 2/16, and as I was crying myself to sleep I had a fleeting thought of someone coming into my aunt’s home with a gun, and in my vision I instinctively put my hand up to block the blow. Now, keep in mind that there was no fear with my vision, only the natural instinct of self-preservation. Which actually made me smile, because it was interesting to witness.
This world is one of survival. That is why we work, why we grow food, why we buy food and other goods, and one reason why we kill. Among other things of course…but everything we do nearly is motivated by survival. Even social situations are motivated by survival – survival of the EGO, but survival nonetheless. I was recently watching an episode of Shark Tank, where they said to a contestant that they were “fighting for their life.” Well, not really, but perhaps it felt that way to the contestant.
Which, I suppose, takes me back to cultivating our light. You can sub many words for the word “light” and have nearly the same meaning. Goodness, kindness, correctness even. Consider this from the Emerald Tablets…
Light comes only to those who strive. Hard is the Pathway that leads to the Wisdom; hard is the Pathway that leads to the Light. Many stones shall you find in your pathway, many mountains shall you climb towards the Light.
What this is saying is that following the light, or the positive pathway, isn’t all roses. It doesn’t mean that your life will suddenly become warm and fuzzy and little furry bunnies. In fact, it’s the harder path. You have to make a conscious decision to keep going, usually because it’s so damn hard. It’s not the popular path, and often your values or decisions may be fairly unpopular. I vividly remember the time that Erin found $20 in the parking lot outside of Dick’s Sporting Goods. I made her bring it to the desk inside, because it was someone else’s, and we shouldn’t gain from someone else’s loss. Very unpopular, but the right thing to do.
The Light – it’s the reason I continue to survive. I dedicated my life to it many years ago, and to learning a path of integrity, wholeness, ethics, and what I call right action. That part of “me” is still intact, unfazed by the horrendous events of my life. That part of me can look beyond the physical existence, and see that Erin served the light when her soul decided to leave the Earth plane, and that my suffering teaches me about both the light and the darkness.
I consciously choose the Light, but honestly, the path of darkness would be sooooo much easier. Thankfully I am not the type to take the easy road, no matter how painful it is. Years ago when I said to the Universe, to give me lessons full speed, I never knew that I would have to let go of the light of my life in the process or that I would have to endure the unthinkable. More importantly, I never would have agreed to it. I would have sold my soul to avoid that loss. That, my friends, is why we cannot know what our future holds for us. In most cases, we would live to avoid it instead of gaining value from the journey.
THAT part of me, it will relentlessly pursue the path of the Light and of Oneness. The other part, though, will still beg to sell our soul to get Erin back. So, maybe I will do some additional light reading on the Tablets and hope some wisdom seeps in. Until then I will leave you with this, from the same Tablet quoted above…
Hark ye O old man and list to my warning:
be ye free from the bondage of night.
Surrender not your soul to the BROTHERS OF DARKNESS.
Keep thy face ever turned towards the Light.
Know ye not, O man, that your sorrow,
only has come through the Veil of the night.
Aye man, heed ye my warning:
strive ever upward,
turn your soul toward the LIGHT.
The BROTHERS OF DARKNESS seek for their brothers
those who traveled the pathway of LIGHT.
For well know they that those who have traveled
far towards the Sun in their pathway of LIGHT
have great and yet greater power
to bind with darkness the children of LIGHT.
I’m sure some of you also have resources that you use. So enjoy your own light reading, and keep your little light shining. If all we can do is to survive, then so be it.
Namaste, peace, and blessings.