I have been meaning to write this since Wednesday, but in thinking it over I now see why I had to wait. I’ll get to that, but on Wednesday I pulled a card and it was a different “tone” than the previous messages. It was Friendship: I understand that a friend is in my life for a reason.
Friendship is such a broad, general term. I really don’t like it so much, because it’s so generic. I attach a great deal of meaning personally to every relationship that I have, whether it be one made in passing in an elevator to someone I’ve known for 30 years. Every person that I come into contact with touches me in some way, unique to the person and our interaction, and I want to emphasize that before I continue. I’m deep that way. Lots going on in my heart and head on a constant basis.
So I thought it was a nice, positive message, but I did not post about it that day because I had this inner knowing to put it on hold. Then yesterday my focus was on Erin’s birthday, so I didn’t post it then either. Today when I revisited it, I knew why. I received so many heart felt messages yesterday from all sorts of people. Some people I have known for years but only recently gotten to know. Some I only know over the internet or Facebook. Many of those I added as friends because they were friends with someone else I knew who played Farmville, and now they have become so much more. I find that most interesting because out of all of the people in the world and on the net, our paths crossed, and I met these beautiful people. I don’t have to know them physically. They shine through the network lines when they write me. And some I have known well and have stood by me for years when I needed them. New friends and old, unique in their own way. Much more than friends though. It’s like having my own view of the lights of many souls shining and calling my name to look upon them. I really don’t have words to say how beautiful the experience of seeing them is.
I try to express my gratitude for their kindness and caring, and reply to each and every one. I am sure I miss people here and there, and I know that words don’t quite cover what I would like to convey. If only I could touch them and then they would understand. Maybe then I would feel more complete over it.
That brings me to today’s card, Growth: I want to expand my consciousness and my awareness. I have been well aware that this entire horrific experience, from a multidimensional and higher viewpoint, is about growth. More specifically, soul growth. I can either rise to the challenge or let it break me and have to do this again in another lifetime or life stream. I heard the words, life stream, as I was writing so I guess that came from my team of guides. I’m not sure right now what that means but perhaps it refers to the concept of all time being now, parallel and not linear, and so it’s all happening at once. Maybe I’m supposed to recognize this and pay heed to the dreams I keep having of those other life streams (??) where Erin has also died. Perhaps this is the particular life stream where I rise to the occasion? Today I am in a space where I can consider these things. Some days, I am not. I do know, however, that I would never be able to do it without those beautiful lighted souls that have walked this journey with me.
So I will ponder my epiphany in the last paragraph by myself, unless you have something to add 🙂 I really just want to thank you all and to honor knowing each and every one of you in this post. Words can’t express my gratitude, and you have no idea how much your kindness means to me. If you could only see the smile, the tears, and feel the warmth in my heart as I read your words, then you would understand.