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Nov 12

Today’s Thoughts

I had to laugh a minute ago. I pulled my “card for the day” and guess what? I pulled, again, Abundance. Again, the subtext is: I am a limitless being, and I can manifest whatever I desire in this physical reality. I will say it again, you gotta love Spirit and how it works to give you just what you need. When I pick a card, I take the card (or cards) that I have previously pulled, and I put it somewhere back in the deck. Then I shuffle. Then I cut the cards! Then I pull from wherever I was guided to cut to. So after doing all of these things, I still pulled the same card I had just reinserted into the deck just prior. There are no coincidences!

I also pulled another card, for an issue I am working on with someone. Last night, when Shaun and I discussed the “incident” that had just occurred over the phone, I told him that I thought this person was upset with their self because they had not done things they wished they had in the past. Guess what card I pulled? Regret: I know that I cannot change the past. In this case, unfortunately, I’m sure this person knows that but they can blame me and so they are. The issue has arisen over my mother, actually, and it’s interesting that I have no regret over that failed relationship. But my mother, who has dementia, she never dealt with one feeling in her entire life and I think that was what finally “drove her crazy,” i.e., manifested itself as dementia. The other person, they are a blamer but they do project the anger outward, so they wouldn’t have that issue manifest more than likely. Emotions cause physical ailments. Well, OK, not 100% of the time, just like my mother probably did deal with at least one emotion. But you get the picture.

The emotional clearing work that I did, and continue to do, helps me to react to these types of situations in a balanced way. That means that I don’t get triggered and act like an ass myself. I do sometimes, but most of the time I can control my actions and reactions. Isn’t that the only thing we can control in our lives? The answer is yes, but that’s another topic. For now, let me just say that yes I do still feel emotion, but I don’t have the need to lash out. If I feel a STRONG emotion, then I have to examine that trigger and wonder what’s up. Where is that coming from within me? Because whatever another person is saying, has nothing to do with me and everything to do with how that person is feeling inside and projecting outside.

I’m a little frustrated right now, mostly because I am writing a blog not an article. For me they are different – the blog is train of thought and an article would be structured to lead you from point A to B to C. I realize I am not doing that, so this whole train of thought may be confusing. Hey – it’s confusing in my brain. Trust me, I have no idea sometimes how I get from A to B to C.

Anyway, to come full circle, if you’ve been reading my blog here you know that I have a ton of regret. I know I can’t change the past, and dammit, that’s part of the regret. I so wish that I could change some things, do more of them, do them better, do them differently. I regret that I cannot. But I am learning to accept it. Honestly, most of the time when I run scenarios in my mind, I don’t find a different way that is any better. Sometimes I do. There are a few deep regrets that I have as a mother, mostly about time not spent with Erin when I could have spent that time, that I may never reconcile. I suspect that the deep pain associated with the regret may fade with time. I said may because it may never fade. I don’t know. I just know that I am alive, and I better make the most of this and have no regrets at the end of it.

The bottom line is that you have to deal with stuff. If you don’t deal now, you will be forced to deal later. That’s how this works folks. I share in hopes that I help others. If I can share anything that is helpful, let it be that.

And now I have become distracted and forgotten what else I wanted to say. But you know, there are no coincidences, so it must be perfect just the way it is.

Hugs, blessings, Namaste, and peace.

#missingerin

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