Nov 09

The Journey Home

Long ago I subtitled this website “The Journey Home.” And while I had originally named it BlueStarServices, I changed my domain name to “BlueStarHome” after a few years because I felt as if that was more appropriate. The Blue Star means many things to many people – Sirius, the Hopi Blue Kachina, Regulus, and even our little Blue Planet called Earth. I’m sure you can come up with more, but many of us are drawn to the blue star symbolism, and you can find it everywhere. That’s not as important, though, as the journey home.

Where is home? Is it where the heart is? I think that’s pretty appropriate. Many say, and I think it’s true, that our purpose here is to learn and to Know unconditional love and compassion, both of which emanate and reside in our heart chakra or heart center. Depending on your beliefs, maybe home is in heaven, or whatever afterlife you envision. To others, it’s simply with their loved ones. There’s that word again – love(d).

Still, it’s the journey that is more important than anything, at least it seems. That’s where you learn, grow, and have experiences that are unique to you and no one else. It’s a metaphor of course, because you can have a journey from your recliner just as well as you can have one from your car or a train. Other souls, well we make up your journey too. Either we are physically with you, or conspicuously absent. No matter though – it all plays out in the way that it should.

I really believe that…that it happens as it should and for a reason. What’s the reason? Who knows. We may never know the end-game until the end of this journey, and I guess that’s OK. OK, I’m not so fond of not knowing the end-game, but I have figured out that they ain’t gonna tell me what it is, and that my friends is part of my journey experience (not knowing but needing to know). I can plow through the fire if I know I’ll come out the other side. Not so well when I don’t know what’s waiting on me.

Earlier today, I got a text from my lovely neighbor telling me that her deployed husband is not coming home for the holidays, and that instead he is being deployed to Iraq (from Qatar) for the troop build up. Now they are on a journey that they didn’t expect and one they don’t like. They are such a lovely family, and it pains me to walk this journey with them even as their neighbor. I don’t know why I mention this here, today, but please keep them in your thoughts. Remember, we walk our journeys home together. For this family, home may mean many things, many goals that they hope to achieve to bring him home safely. I hope that they get “home” easily and soon.

I pulled my card for today and got Regret: I know that I cannot change the past. This is a reflection on my all night crying jag from yesterday. I have an assload of regrets in my life. Until Erin died, I recognized the regret of things left unfinished and unsaid, and yet realized that I was too darn lazy to have done it any differently. Perhaps lazy isn’t the right word, but when you can’t be bothered to get up and go visit, or call or write, I think that’s lazy. I mean well, but have regret. That played out with Erin, too. If I had more time, I would be different. Maybe not “better” but different. I would want to leave myself with fewer regrets.

But then, what would I have learned on my journey if I didn’t have anything to regret? There would have been great happiness but small growth. I know the right answer, but can I get a little peace and happiness this lifetime please? Please? WTF was I thinking when I planned this crap out?

I’m currently hooked on Supernatural, and have been binge watching it to catch up to the current season (Thanks cousin Michelle for insisting I needed to watch it.). Anyway, I leave you with the wise words of Bobby Singer…Balls! I think that sums it up, and I can say it with a smile…right now anyway.

Peace, blessings, and hugs to you today!

#missingerin today and every day.

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