Seems after the work I did yesterday (inner work), here I am back full circle where I started so many years ago. Wasn’t it always about growth? It was for me. I sometimes let it blind me in fact. I have said I jump in with both feet, and I asked many times for my team to fast track me on the growth path. So much so, that I think I missed the journey.
Hindsight is 20/20 indeed. It’s funny but I just had the revelation above, that I was going so fast I missed the journey, and in more ways than one. On my path (spiritual, emotional, mental) and in my life (physical). One of my regrets is letting all of the crap you have to do daily take time away from enjoying your surroundings and your loved ones. Yes, Erin. How many times were we just rushing to where she had to go, where I had to go, or for me to get back to work? Work? Wow. Seems so insignificant. Yeah, we like to pay the bills, but it ate up so much of my time with her. It seems that I have indeed expanded my consciousness and awareness, as stated on the card in the small print.
Perhaps I should have just asked for feet to the fire, and not fast specifically. Sometimes we think we know what we want or need, and yet we don’t really hone it enough and we get something we wish we hadn’t. Hindsight. I suppose being able to reflect and actually get it, is growth. Hopefully.
Yesterday was such an odd day energetically that I can’t really tell you what all happened inside of my head and my heart. But, things are moving in there. That is good news. For starters, the work Lisa Gawlas helped me with was profound in this sense. Thank you Lisa if you are reading! You pulling me up out of my collapsing old world really did the trick I think. I couldn’t pull myself out, and it definitely was collapsing. I knew it intuitively, because I knew that it was gone. The old me – gone. The new me, I couldn’t see. Maybe I can see a little now?
I also picked up a book that I got by surprise the other day and started reading it. I say by surprise, because I forgot I ordered it. I still don’t remember to be honest, but here it is, and it’s called The Top Ten Things Dead People Want to Tell You by Mike Dooley. I really don’t know what his credentials are (he doesn’t appear to be a medium), but it resonates with me. He said something at the beginning like after you read this you will be able to be joyful again…well something like that…and I swear it’s working. I think from what I gather, he is using research on the subject with some very simple logic, and it just freaking makes sense. Whatever it is, and I am only in chapter 3, I’m going to finish the book. It did make me feel better after I got through the whole pity party I had during the introduction chapter.
One of the themes of the book is love, and that was a theme in my Lisa reading yesterday too. Love is healing, and it really does conquer all things. In the end, you may get eaten by the dragon, but if you are in a state of love when it happens then who really wins? You do. So much of what goes on in our world is a deliberate attempt to instill fear into people. Where are the deliberate attempts to instill love? I don’t see them. I bet I could find a couple if I looked hard, but they are hard to find. They aren’t public anyway. The media doesn’t report on them, and neither do the religions that are supposedly based on love. They preach fear instead. So do the world governments. And the war lords, and gangs, and even well-meaning parents trying to motivate their kids to eat their dinner. I did, and now I’m ashamed of it. Hindsight.
So this is my growth, I think. I think maybe I just quantified it for myself and for you if it helps you to recognize your own. And I love you all. I do. I do because you are beautiful, living beings who have value and feelings and because you are all perfect in your unique way. I SEE you.