Oct 18

Stuff and Things

Yeah, I took a page out of the Walking Dead lore with this title. I guess I must be walking around just like Rick did after Lori died doing stuff and things. You know, nothing of importance or that you can even remember. And the irony is that what I have left of Erin is stuff and things. I know, she’s in my heart, and thanks for reminding me of that (I can hear the chorus in my head). Still, she’s not here and that’s all my heart wants.

I actually began this blog post yesterday and decided to table it and immerse myself in television after I wrote the first two sentences. If I can get inside someone else’s story, then I am not paying attention to mine. That’s what TV does, ya know? It gives you stories to live as you watch. Books do the same, and I have read at least 6 since Erin died. I seem to waver between the two.

I am still thinking about Surrender. That is a powerful message and ignoring it wouldn’t be prudent. My grief therapist thinks that I need to focus on connections with others. So far this week, I’ve completely ignored everything on my FaceBook messenger, and not seen anyone except my aunt and my husband for the most part. I did agree to finally got to lunch with my in laws today, though. I’m not looking forward to it. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with seeing them and thinking of Erin and how things have changed. It’s not their fault, but they are a vivid reminder, and it is very hard for me.

Being so melancholy, I don’t have a lot to say this morning, but I do have some art work that I found and took pictures of yesterday.

I had this old notepad that my mother had given me. It had been in my purse for ages (I never throw note pads away), and I didn’t want it, so I gave it to Erin. I found where she had been drawing on it in the backseat. Here is a drawing of Puppy, which she apparently thought wasn’t very good. And a half-torn page of some little girl.

Notepad PuppyNPad_HalfGirl












Here is one of her, and of Anna Kate.

NPad_ErinMaybe Npad_AK_girl












Halloween Project from 2013 – 4th grade. I remember she had to write a narrative about the jack-o-lantern. I hope I am able to find it one day. As you can see, she prettied her up with jewels on her stem.










Not sure what the next two are, but they were done in art class, 4th grade.



















I guess this one wasn’t finished. If you just knew how much she loved arts and crafts, you would appreciate this like I do. Either way, I hope you enjoyed them.

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