Ah! I have missed a few days! Well, I don’t know about you but I have been absolutely overrun with “stuff” to do, and pooped on top of that. My peaceful sanctuary that I call home has been invaded by turmoil and chaos. Some of you will know them by another name – Archons. Yes, they are real, and they affect us in ways that are unique to our weaknesses. For me, they attack my husband, daughter, or “get at me” through my mother who currently lives with us. Basically, they cause disruption, worry, etc.
My daughter has been sick for almost 3 months now. It started in the lymph nodes in her neck, and now she has a second ailment that is affecting her spine due to holding herself so gingerly. Her neck is now shunted to the left, and yeah it took me awhile to get my head above water but I finally had the good sense to take her to the chiropractor (after weeks of night crying due to pinched nerves). You could say that as a mother, I have not only had stress but moments of sheer panic worrying about my baby. My husband is a nervous wreck worrying about her, and both of us have back issues from carrying this burden. Thrown into the mix is my dementia affected mother. You never know what will happen or if there will be a catastrophic event! I am truly living the darkest night, have been for awhile, and still can’t see the dawn.
Yesterday a friend sent me an email with an article saying how the next 72 hours will be a test for those of us with raised vibrations to stay in balance, much attributed to incoming energies. That was a road sign for me, and I then understood what was happening for me overall. Notice I did not say “to” me, as I have chosen this path and even with the Archon influence, I control my destiny. (Take THAT, Archons!) By the way, I will post the link to that article once I find it. I really am overwhelmed. It’s not a put on just for this blog post!
Through it all, the last 3 months have sort of been an odyssey within an odyssey to show me how to get back on track and what was really important. I have written about this in various ways, but folks it keeps coming up and I think that it is important to keep talking about. There are so many things that hold us back. Many times it is family. One of the most advanced souls that I know was able to grow her magic and wisdom so much simply because she has very few ties. This is by choice, and she does not face most of the burdens that I do. Further to that point, we all CHOOSE to carry the burdens that we do. That includes family and friends. I am not suggesting that anyone shrug off responsibility that you have committed to, but there are certainly times you should rethink it. The only area I would say you must always honor a commitment is with your children, because you elected to birth and care for them. But think about what and who in your life no longer serves you. It is your choice to carry on with a husband you do not love, a parent who has been abusive, etc. Only society tells us to stick it out miserably to the end, when sometimes it is really healthier to move on without someone in your life. Or your job. No, don’t quit your only source of income. DO go out and find a job that treats you nice, that you enjoy, and pays your bills. The point is, we are all in prisons that we actually hold the keys to.
So back around to me and my personal example, my mother and I have karma that goes back a few lifetimes. It is not good, and in this lifetime even though I was the child, well she did not correct her karma. I have worked hard to correct mine, and now I’m paid in full. So over the last few years I have struggled tremendously with a burden that as it turns out, was not necessary in my life. It wasn’t necessary for my child, it wasn’t necessary for my family, and certainly the guilt I have over my role as caretaker for my mother is not necessary. It’s nice to be queen, but the burden of that comes with the price of having to make decisions for your kingdom that aren’t always fun to make. That is my lesson for the past week…I realize now that I have neglected the things that do matter, and thus my decision to begin the pursuit of nursing home care. And I don’t need to panic, I don’t need to worry. Yeah, I’ve had a lot of self-talk the past few days about mom and my daughter too, but I have managed to stay balanced and look for the higher perspective. And Kem, my higher self, told me that I passed my test.
Well I never write here with just me in mind. What is YOUR test? Do you know yet? Even if you “fail,” if you manage to realize that you failed and you get the point, you can still pass next time. Understanding and realization are half the battle. Yes, you need to put it into action but if you don’t see the doorway you can never go through it.
I sure hope I put all of this behind me soon, so that I can write on other topics. Maybe we’re coming to the end of a mini-cycle within the big cycle. If I find evidence of that I will post those links too.